Settling Into Place

SettlingIntoPlace

Free and ready for whatever comes next.

From our conversation on the beach, Mr. Divine and I have been doing a lot better. That talk seemed to have opened a floodgate of conversation to make sure that we are staying on track as a couple. We sit down and just try to talk about everything as much as possible and make sure we were on the right page or just the same page about the things that might be a complication.

With Kylie enjoyed her new school and both of them studying for upcoming exams, things were settling back into a quiet state in our home. A while back Kylie had told me was interested in taking several of her exams early so she had started to do extra lessons in preparation for those exams. That had been going well and it was a major help towards her applications into university.

The children’s sporting activities have brought back up the question of the possibility of them having the opportunity to move to another country so they can further their education and ranking in the sport. We all had a long talk and the plan is to wait for Kylie’s results and see if there is any early interest from the universities that she wants to go to. Her swim coach has also been looking into scholarships at her choice universities and several other schools that would teach the courses that interest her. We would know the results in a few months and from there we would revisit the idea of moving as a family or if we would let Kylie go off on her own and have an adventure. Time would tell.

All Revealed

AllRevealed

Like the rising sun, the situation could no longer be hidden.

 

“You see,” said Kylie. “I told you I’m not the only one he has been bugging. I guess their parents skipped coming to the school and went right to the police.”

The officer that came in, make that officers, were not street cops but high ranking officers. I guess someone had gone to the top with their complaint.

The officers looked around the room from our angry faces to the boy sitting in the corner of the room rocking back and forth crying.

“What is the issue here?” asked one of the officers.

“The young lady and her parents have said the boy has been giving her double,” said the principal.

“Define trouble,” said the other officer.

“Sexual assault,” said Kylie before the principal could replay.

“The girl is just exaggerating. The boy was just playing,” said Mr. X with a laugh.

“Playing? From the conversation I overheard my niece having and the bruises I saw on her arms and thighs when I got her to tell me what happened, this is no game.”

“Are you Nadisha’s uncle or Ashley’s? Those are the two girls  he has been bugging for the last two weeks.”

“No. My niece doesn’t go to school here. This incident happened on the bus last Friday.”

The officer took out a phone and showed the principle pictures. The man was visibly shocked.

Taking out a notebook the officer turned to my daughter.

“Can I have the names of those two other young ladies? We will need to talk to them. Can you tell us what happened.”

My daughter told her story including the part about the teacher doing nothing. The officers gave Mr. X. a long look and finally he has the look of shame on his face.

“From the magnitude of this situation we going to have to take this situation to the station. This involves too many girls and this is a dangerous situation.”

Saddened the principle nodded.

“On that note,” said Mr. Divine. “I would like my daughter’s transcripts before I leave. She is not coming back to this school. Not with a teacher who turns a blind eye to sexual assault. Never.

“I was shocked he took things as far as removing Kylie from school but I understood it. The safety of the children was always his first priority and for that I loved him.

It seemed like Kylie would be starting privet school later in the week. Mr. Divine moved that fast, that fast.

Throwdown

Throwdown

Direct hit. 

The principal started to splutter and the teacher looked shocked.

 

“The boy was just playing,” said Mr. X.

“Yes. I was just playing chimed in the boy,” suddenly realizing that this was getting bigger than a simple trip to the office.

“No young man,” said Mr. Divine. “Touching or hitting a person without their consent is assault. Forcibly touching a girl or woman on parts of her body that are considered privet, that is breasts, bottom or vaginal area is considered sexual assault. There is no just playing when you force a girl in a corner and touch her while she is screaming no. It is wrong. Your teacher should know that, you should know and understand that. You need to call your parents because you are in big trouble and you have to learn that actions have consequences.”

“This a big lot of noise about nothing,” said Mr. X.

“I hope you are willing to tell that to a judge because I think I’ll be taking you to court for your lack of action with regards to this situation.

Mr. Divine took out his other phone and called his lawyer. His words froze the man.

“Those papers I told you about. You can file them. He has no remorse so why should I?”

“Why are you behaving like this?” Mr. X questions. “These are  just kids.”

“Do you understand that boys become men? Do you understand that boys who think they can touch girls wherever and whenever and don’t understand that ‘No’ really means ‘NO’ often go on to assault and rape women? Do you understand that you are a teacher and the person these children look up to and respect? Do you understand that by saying nothing you are a danger to these children?”

“You are crazy man,” said Mr. X.

“Like I said, tell it to a judge.”

The young man was standing in the corner and the look on his face said the boy was frightened out of his mind. He should be. Not to mention this school needed to talk to the boys and make them understand no, means no.

“Young man, have you called your parents?” The boy shook his head no.

“They need to be called and they need to get here now. Not the end of their work day but right now.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the secretary stuck her head without waiting for a response to come in.

“There are two police officers out here. He wants to speak to you about an incident. He named that boy,” she said pointing to the boy now trying to make himself smaller in the corner. “That is why I came to get you.”

The boy slid down onto the floor his knees weak.

No You Didn’t

NoYouDidNot

Like most mothers, I’m very protective of my children but I’ve also learnt how to let them go so they can be independent and learn how to become their own person. It’s not easy, but I’ve come to realize that the clinging and hovering often resulted in frustrated, angry and rebellious children. Observation allowed me to learn how to adjust accordingly over the past few years. That being said, let get to the real problem.

My daughter Kylie came home and I noted that she was more distant and quieter than usual. I looked at her, trying to figure out the type of quite I was dealing with. Was it a ‘that topic in class was so difficult’ or ‘a why is that person giving me a difficult time’ quiet. For some reason I wasn’t getting the clues I was used to with this situation and it was worrying me.

Mr. Divine was back from his trip and was taking us out to dinner. At dinner, he nudged me when he noticed how quiet she was. The kids were always eager to find out about his trips but it was like Kylie wasn’t even there. We decided to take a long walk along the boardwalk after dinner and as Shane wondered off to get pictures of the sunset we asked her what was the matter.

As she explained the situation I could see the vain in Mr. Divine’s head starting to rise up and throb. With my Kylie’s every word, he was getting angrier. “We’ll be going to the school tomorrow because nothing about what you just told us is right.”

“But the teacher said that is just the way boys behave.”

“No, it’s not. Decent boys don’t do that. Decent teachers don’t allow them to get away with it if you complain about it. Then even worst, try to make it your fault.

While Mr. Divine was angry I was livid. The whole situation reminded me of the entitled attitude my ex Walter often exhibited. I wasn’t standing for it. It would seem that a boy at school had started teasing Kylie, calling her rude names and being generally annoying. She chose to ignore him and in reaction, he choose to escalate the situation by pushing, pinching and basically trying to grope my daughter whenever he saw her. Frustrated she went to the teacher to try to address the situation but it was dismissed with the statement “boys will be boys” and that the boy wanted her to be his girlfriend….and it was probably her fault for ignoring him.

Oh hell no.

15 Minutes

15Minutes

The timer set and ready to go.

15 Minutes. It may seem like no time at all for many people, but for me, it’s going to be the difference being accomplished my goals or not. How so? I plan to take that time daily for each of the tasks I want to accomplish in my life. To make this happen it is going to take not only a lot of planning but also dedication. Not to mention that other thing I know I have to achieve.

I plan to give myself up to the sixth-month mark this year, but I intend to accomplish these tasks I have in mind. Each one, though small, will be like a shot in the machine of my life. It’s time to make some changes to and improve my machine. 15 minutes can make a huge difference and I plan to make it count.

Taking Care of My Tree

thetreeofmylife

I’m making the changes needed to keep the tree, that is my life, growing and flourishing.

The task I have set myself to regain my motivation and to re-establish my path is going well. Well when I said regain, I must say I’ve not lost it all. It’s like I said before, some parts of the picture have become fuzzy and I need to get rid of that blind spot.

My rediscovery is going amazing and the lessons I’m finding seem to be more relevant than before. The two years before were an eye opener for me, but by not keeping constantly updated on key motivational tips, I lost my way….a little. It’s not that things aren’t going well because that are but even then you can slip into bad habits.

My bad habit is starting a task that is aimed at making a part of my life better but as time goes on, I fall by the wayside. It is not intentioned, it just sort of happens. I set a time to do a task but when the time comes I’m distracted doing something else and the dreaded happens, I forget. The routine is broken and sadly that break leads to that thing you wanted to accomplish drifting into the land of the forgotten.

I’ve made up my mind to stop these little goals from being lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. When I stopped and considered how may things I have allowed to fall into

forgetfulness, it saddens me. Little things like taking my vitamins daily, reading an article daily to discover something new. Or the big ones like practicing that language I really want to learn daily or exercising or….there are so many. All I know is that that it’s go to stop so I’m going to do something about.

Revisit the Motivation

Title:-

revisitthemotivation

A thought that came to me that I’m going to keep in mind.

 

For years I’ve been on the same path and in the same place, like an insect stuck in tree sap. Caught and going nowhere fast. After my former husband Walter left me, I had a serious look at my life and realized what a disservice I had been doing to myself. That is what led to several motivational speakers and leaders of industry who’s advice was invaluable in the process of helping me to restart my life and equipping me with what I needed to find the right path and start moving towards it.

What I’ve also realized more than two years after that groundbreaking epiphany, is that I needed to revisit the video lectures and blog posts that helped me to find myself to make sure that I keep the fire for continual advancement burning in my life. Over time I have realized that it is very easy to fall back into the bad habits of the past that were so easy, comfortable and familiar.

Familiar but also deadly to my progress, and this isn’t something that I want in my life again. So over the next few weeks, I’ll be revisiting many of the motivational videos and blog posts that helped me so much. Then from there, I’ll be doubling down, so to speak, and finding some new videos and posts to add to my list to strengthen me for my fight forward.

I’ve come to understand that motivation is like the plaster on a building and it helps to protect my ideas and plans for the future. Daily my ideas and plans are bombarded by doubts, fears and negativity, eating away at the protection. All I can say is that it’s time to re-plaster and to make sure I remember that it’s easier to maintain than to rebuild.

Socializing

socalizing

A concert can really make a good day better.

In the past, I never went anywhere, but with my husband leaving me and coming to the realization that I was almost a recluse I started to take steps to change that. Things had changed a  lot in the past few years and I must admit by the time my divorce was final I had developed an active social life. Now I attended concerts, exhibitions and various other types of events by myself or with the kids and each one was uniquely amazing. Now that I have married, things have changed.

I still go out to these types of events but now I also go to what I consider as business networking events with Mr. Divine. I have learnt that to know what the movers and shakers are doing in the business and money making area, we needed to go where they were. So now, along with the going out for pleasure, we also go out several times a month to business events. We are meeting a lot of interesting people and discovering so many new and exciting business prospects. I’m excited about and enjoy this new type of going out. Learning a lot and loving it. I can hardly wait for my next event to expand my knowledge and plan my next possible business venture.

Homework vs Sports

New Year New Plans

Hitting the pool hard. That’s my babies.

It’s athletics season and as usual, my children have been forbidden by their swim coach from participating as a precaution against injury. Despite not representing their schools in track and field, the kids have a heavy workout schedule with pool training as well as land training. To add to that, they often have a heavy homework load, I have some busy and exhausted children.

So why not cut back on their sports a lot of you might be thinking,  considering they have life-altering exams this year. If I want miserable, cranky kids sure…not. My crazy kids said they loved their hectic schedule and by having so much to do they are forced to manage their time. I thought I had hit my head and entered an alternate universe when they said that to me, but believe me or not that’s what they said. Somehow my kids have learnt the concept of living life to its fullest early in their young existence and I think I’ll take a cue from them. I’m off to an event with my husband so I’ll get back to writing later. Have a lovely day everyone.

Family Getaway

I’m skipping forward a bit but here is what we got up to on a trip. We spent a few days in Canada just to see if the children might want to consider going there for college. Click the link to see the video of a part of our adventures. Let me know what you think.