A Million Emotions

Emotion

Just a fraction of what I’ve been feeling for the past few months.

Excited and insanely busy in a whirlwind of chaos. That is the best way to describe what my life has been like for the past few months. Things have finally settled and I’m looking forward to starting to post updates to my blog again.

A lot has happened since is haven’t been active online and I’ll be trying my best get you up to date about all the happenings. So, expect a new post in the coming week. I’m so tempted to just blurt out some of what happened but I’ve waited this long, so taking the time to tell you properly is the plan and I’m sticking to it.

So look for WordPress blog post and Facebook post in the coming weeks and I’ll get you back on track with what myself and my family have been up to.

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The Hidden Truth

 

HiddenTruth

Mr. Divine’s kisses can make every problem disappear. 

 

What is the meaning of you manhandling me? I don’t appreciate it one bit.”

“Will I don’t appreciate you avoiding my calls for the last few days. What is going on? Talk to me.”

I said nothing, determined to stay angry.

“Lindsay, you and my children are one of the most important things in my life. Knowing how you are is a must. Right now I know something is wrong. Even the kids know something is wrong and told me.”

My eyes widened at his statement. The children knew that something that something was wrong…that was not good. I looked at Mr. Divine then looked away.

“This is ridiculous,” I heard Mr. Divine mutter before he pulled me out of the car and tossed me over his shoulder. We had driven to the beach after he pulled me out of work and we had been just sitting there, him talking, me trying not to listen. That was when he dragged me out of the jeep and heading toward the water. When I figured what he intended I started to scream and kick. That didn’t stop him and I ended up being tossed into the sea.

I came up swinging but Mr. Divine was not about to be deterred.

“Tell me what’s going on or you are going under again.”

I started to protect and Mr. Divine ducked me again and when I came up again I could see we were attracting attention. I tried to escape but it was futile and I was subjected to several more ducks until all I could do is cling to Mr. Divine.

“The women,” I gasped.

He held me tight, “What women?”

I pressed my head against his chest and tears of frustration started to run.

“The women who are all around you, always trying to get your attention.”

Gripping my chin he made me look up and focus on him.

“Look at me and listened very carefully. I married you, Lindsay. I waited all those years for the right woman and I married you. You are my woman and I will not violate your trust so get the idea out of your head right now and keep it out.”

There in the water, he kissed me long and deep. “Don’t ever give me the silent treatment again. We talk about things and move forward.”

“Okay,” I whispered against his chest, ashamed of what I had done. I had allowed the past to creep in the fester and like an opened infected wound it had tried to destroy me. I should have known better by now.

Family Getaway

I’m skipping forward a bit but here is what we got up to on a trip. We spent a few days in Canada just to see if the children might want to consider going there for college. Click the link to see the video of a part of our adventures. Let me know what you think.

Settling In

settling-in

Things are slowly falling into place.

 

I’m back from my honeymoon but I might as well not be. The buzz is in full control and I’m walking around like I’m a permanent resident of cloud 9. The kids are happy we are back and eager to hear where we went and what we got up to. We gave them an edited version of our trip and they were overjoyed that we got to see so many places in a short timespan.

Now we are back home, we only have two weeks before we plan to leave for a trip as a family. Part of the trip is for us to see Mr. Divine’s house as well as taking Kyle to see some colleges. Then we are going to spend a few days enjoying the theme parks in Florida. It will be a lot of driving and flying but that was going to be all a part of the fun of getting there.

The kids had an amazing time while we were away. They spent their days with friends and family, exploring and relaxing. When we got back home, we had a fun time exchanging stories and sharing pictures. I really had an enjoyable time on that trip. Flying along on the zipline in St. Kitts, jumping off cliff rock and rope swings into breathtaking lagoons of water in more than one beautiful port. Mr. Divine truly indulged mt inner water baby.

Now we are married, Mr. Divine was officially moving into my house. we decided it was easier for one of him to move rather than three of us. We also took into account that the location of my house made it easier for all of us to get to and from work and play easier. The plan was to put his house up for rent with one of the island’s real estate agents that would also maintain and look after the property. If we left the country as a family, that was also the plan air-marked for my house. I have learnt that passive income and making my money work for me is key to building wealth.

I had thought it would be difficult to get used to Mr. Divine always being there, but if I really thought about it, he was by our house more often than not. I had gotten used to more help in the kitchen and around the house. My daughter would smile her little happy smile whenever Mr. Divine did anything sweet and loving, making me know that her opinion of men had not been warped by her father’s horrible, inexcusable actions. My children now had a role model who could help to shape their opinions of right and wrong.

Another thing I noted was that Mr. Divine Didn’t have an excessive amount of clothes and what he did have was high-end of exceptional quality. I questioned him one day to understand the reason for his choices. He explained he discovered when he bought cheaper, for example, shirts. He discovered he had to buy new shirts sooner due to wear and tear. When he bought a little more expensive, they lasted longer. He explained that over time he learned how to buy expensive for less, so now he had the best of both worlds. I was discovering and learning new tricks every day.

When Mr. Divine moved in with us we also decided to do a thorough cleaning of the house. Everything that belonged to Walter that was still in the house we packed in bags and boxes, called the police officers we dealt with in the past, plus our lawyer and his lawyer and made sure the fact I was giving him back what was his, was documented. I even sent him the old lawn mower he bought years ago that stopped working. Any gift he bought me/the house I got rid of too.

In fact, I wanted to get rid of every item of furniture or thing that reminded me of our marriage. It was like some delayed reaction where I just wanted to purge him fully from my life. Mr. Divine and the kids had to calm me down. I had planned of remodeling but they had drifted into the background when other things took a more important place in my life.

“If we are going to renovate then it;s going to have to be well thought out,” said Mr. Divine hugging me close and rubbing my back.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself while I considered what Mr. Divine was saying. recently any thought of Walter would just bring the anger boiling up in me and this was no different. In the past, I had gotten to a place where I didn’t even think about Walter or I wasn’t bothered if I heard about him but that had changed because of the recent incidents I’ve had to deal with involving him. I had to work once more at extinguishing him from my life.

“How about we pull out the old ideas we were working on for the house. Have a serious look at them. Look at the other plans we have in play for our lives and make some decisions from there,” I said.

The kids nodded and I relaxed into the couch as they went towards their rooms to plan. The house was just a tiny part of a huge picture and we would look at everything before a decision was made. Sometimes good comes from a supposedly bad situation but it was a matter of finding the good of the situation and working with it. That’s what I’ll do. Re-adjust my attitude and go after what I wanted because that was life.

Slipping Away

slipping-away

Happy with the man I love.

When dinner at the hotel restaurant finished on the evening of my wedding, my now husband stood up and held his hand out to me. He wanted us to have our first dance together as a couple and I so did I. While we ate, music was playing in the restaurant and it seems that when he sent a signal to someone, the song he wanted started to play.

“May I have this dance Mrs……” Let’s call me Mrs. Divine. Lol. It was amazing and I was content in the arms of a man who love me as much as I loved him.

When everything was over, I found myself being handed into the plush seats of a taxi. It was on of the newest models of Range Rover and the trip was like floating on a cloud. Mr. Divine cuddled me against his chest and I closed my eyes, too happy to care where I was going.

I didn’t realise how tired I was but suddenly I felt myself being lifted. I came awake fully to find myself being laid on a plush comforter. I didn’t have a clue where I was but in truth, I wasn’t worried. I was content. Turning over I looked up at Mr. Divine and found him laying on his elbow looking down at me.

“Hello my love,” he whispered to me before he leaned over and pressed his lips against mine. With a sigh of pleasure, I reached for him and cuddled against his body.

“Hello,” I whispered back to him and closed my eyes as I rested my head against his chest. “Did I tell you what an amazing man you are and that I’m truly happy to be your wife?”

I got another kiss for my question. “The fact you walked down the aisle is an indication of your love. The fact that I have gained you trust and your love, humbles me.”

Pushing him down onto the bed I snuggled against him. I had never been so happy in my life. “You worked for and gained every bit of that thrust yo now have.”

I held him tight for several minutes then slipped out of the bed and he turned over and watched my every move. I stood in the mirror and watched him watching me as I started to take down my hair. When it fell down my back I watched him smile.

Twisting my hair I dropped it over one shoulder and Mr. Divine got up and came to me. I watched as he traced the buttons of my dress all the way down to the bottom of my spine.

“Were all these buttons on this dress designed to torture me?

He reached up and started to unbutton them one after the other.

“No,” I said with a laugh. “Would I do that?”

He laughed with me as he continued his task then gasped as he pushed the dress off of my shoulders.

“Ahhhhh, so this is what you were hiding under your dress.”

While Mr. Divine helped I stepped out of the dress and he got to see my ensemble of a cream lace corset with daring lace pushup and scandalous underwear. I had decided to abandon the suspender belt and stockings because the wedding ceremony was on the beach.

“I bought it especially for you. Do you like it?”

Slowly he traced his fingers along one to the ribs of the corset before he paused, just under my breast and gave me a teasing smile.

“I think like is to mild a word to describe my emotions.”

Taking my hand, he pulled me towards the divan at the foot of the bed and settled me in his lap. He took up a flat rectangular box from next to him and placed it on his lap. It had been right there on the divan all along but I had been oblivious.

I look at him and tried to get a hint of what it was about all I got was a smile.

“Open it,” he whispered against my neck as he trailed his nose over my skin.

I cuddled closer to him as I opened the box. My jaw dropped at what I discovered. It was a scandalously tiny bikini with a card to go with it.

I open the card slowly.  After I read it I looked up at him even more shocked.

“Two weeks?”

“Correct,” he whispered against my lips.

“You and I on a privet yacht and all you need is this sexy bit of red string and may be a few other things. I have everything you need waiting for you.

“Yes,” I sighed against his lips. “Always yes.”

I yield to his perfect touch, and for the rest of the night and into the early hours of the morning I fell under the spell of his unrelenting pleasure. Come morning, I didn’t have the energy or inclination to move, but I didn’t need to. My breakfast was brought to me I was awoken by the type of pleasure any woman wants a lifetime of.

After I checked in on the kids and told them goodbye, that naughty man insisted on dressing me in that tiny combination of string and a coverup. When I say dressed I mean was dressed. That man was intent on keeping me aware of his touch.

Mr. Divine went as far as blindfolding me and leading me to the boat. When he slipped off the silk scarf I couldn’t speak.

“It’s…It’s so amazing.” I spun around and jumped into his arms. Like always he caught me.

“Anything and I mean anything, to make you happy.”

Like he said, he had everything I needed there and we sailed away two hours after I boarded. I have never been so pampered in my life and I loved the amazing islands we visited.

The tiny red bikini was one of several and naughty as they were, I enjoyed wearing them. There was a privet deck that was outside our stateroom and that was where Mr. Divine encouraged me to explore and be adventurous.  That naughty man actually got me to sunbath nude and one night we even went skinny dipping we had a wild amazing time together and I’m truly happy that I married this amazing me.

The Big Day

the-big-day

The photographer captured this beautiful memory.

 

It is funny that I’m starting the year playing catch up. Right now I still telling the part of the story of what had happened to me last year, but I want to make sure I’m getting everything down correctly so it is taking time. In truth I don’t mind because I rather get my story out right, than quick. So on to the main event.

When my wedding day dawned, I was fighting with every cell in my body to remain calm. It wasn’t that I was frightened but that I was excited for what’s to come. True I have been married before but I went into that situation with blinders on. No, make that blindfolded,

Anyway. For my special day, I was determined to be chilled and happy so I arranged for a massage that stripped every ounce of tension from my body. I’ve never experienced anything so amazing. It’s a good thing I choose to get that massage in my hotel room so all I had to do was to roll off of the massage table and get into the bed.

When I finally woke up on my wedding day, the sun was shining and it was flawlessly beautiful outside. I turned over almost limp but rested and content. My sister came in and found me chilling on my bed with a stupid, happy smile all over my face.

“Well, there is no need to ask you if you are good. If your smile got any wider your cheeks would split,” said Linda.

With a laugh, I threw off my sheet and got out of bed to be hugging by my sister. It was good to have her here and happy to be a part of my wedding because at the last one everyone was tense and angry.

“This is the right one finally Lindsay,” said my sister. “I’m sorry you had to endure such a horrible marriage for so long but you have found the right guy now.”

Linda hugged me tight before he held away from her by the shoulders before pulling me close and hugging me again. I tried not to think too much about her words, only about the good place I was in. To me, that was all that mattered today.

From then on a flurry of activity began. I got a shower and as my breakfast arrived so did the photographer. Then it was down to business. I got a manicure, pedicure, and mini-massage while the others got their nails and hair done. Then it was my turn and I closed my eyes and floated off to a quiet place as the hairdresser did my hair. I refused to look in the mirror and let everything come together. Hair, nails, make-up and finally the dress that took my breath away in that shop in New York.

I closed my eyes and let the others dress me until finally when everything was in place I turned around and looked into the mirror. I could hardly believe I was seeing my own reflection in front of me. I looked so different. That was when I finally looked around the room and saw my daughter looking like a storybook princess in her dress. It took every ounce of my mental strength not to cry off that makeup.

“Kylie baby you look so beautiful.” She hugged me with a wide smile.

“You too mommy. You look like…I can’t find the words. Amazing is just too simple a word for how good you look.”

“Thank you, Kylie. Thank you for helping me to get this dress. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would be wearing.”

Around us, the photographer was clicking away and I slipped back into my happy daze as the time came for me to make my way to my groom.

The actual ceremony was set to take place on the beach and rather heels I wore a pair of white sandals with glitter and sequins. When I got to the top of the aisle to walk down, the beauty of what was before me took my breath away.

The flowers that were around the arch, along with the cream coloured tulle that flowed in the wind gave the beach a fairy tail atmosphere. I looked down the aisle and in front of that arch was the man I was about to marry, Mr. Divine. Our guest stood as I stepped onto the aisle of rose petals and began to walk towards my man.

When I reached Mr. Divine and slipped my hand into his, everything felt right. On that beautiful beach, I said my vows and joined my life with this amazing man. I have never felt so happy in all my life. Not even when I got married before had it felt so good.

The day was a blur but the key thing I remember was that I was so happy about everything. As we said our vows I had to fight not to cry but several tears escaped. Mr. Divine wiped each of them away and when he kissed me as we were named husband and wife those tears just dried right up. I was starting a new part of my life, with an amazing man, and I could hardly wait.

Plans

 

jan-mini-2

One of the spots we pick for relaxing. It’s perfect for brainstorming and planning.

 

 

Work and school will be starting back this week and we are all eager to discover what is in store for us. We spent the past week planning what we want and what is possible. The kids have swimming and Mr. Divine has insisted on some type of self-defense training. He even said I had to join as well. He insisted we had to know how to protect ourselves. I’ll have to tell you how these lessons go, lol.

We have also made resolutions about what each of us wants to improve about ourselves. That too I’ll tell you more about later. So what will we be doing? Travelling more, playing more, live and enjoy life more. This is the beginning of an enjoyable yea

 

Seasons Greetings

merrychristmas

It’s been an amazing year so far for me and I can’t help but be truly thankful for every moment I’ve experienced. It wasn’t all good, but each thing that happened to me has come together to make it a memorable year.
The places I’ve been, the things that I did with my children and my now new husband, Mr. Divine really came together to impact on my life. Add to that the interesting people I’ve met and each second was worth it.
At this special time of year, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Joy, love and happiness to each of you from my family to yours.

The Dress

the-dress

I’ve finally found my perfect dress.

I’m not sure if I mentioned it before, but  I’m not really a fan of shopping. My attitude to the concept has improved in the last few years but that was due to me finally learning how to shop for my body type and what looked good on me. Despite that change, when it came to a wedding dress I didn’t even have a clue where to start. A basic search and a look at those bride shows on the television had me nearly overwhelmed by the different types of dresses. It was looking like I would be spending more time than I had expected to find that dress and considering that I only had a few weeks I knew I had to get to it sooner rather than later. I found myself standing in front of the mirror doing a body assessment to try to at least narrow down the type of dress that would best suit me. My daughter looked at me when she saw me just standing there.
“Mom! What are you doing? I came into the room and you didn’t even realize I was in the room.”

I explained my dilemma and my daughters tugged me into the bed, got her laptop and started looking at dress styles. That was when I discovered the difference between a ballgown, an A-line, a mermaid and a sheath styled wedding dress. I had it in my head I would just get a simple dress and that would be it. My daughter was not having that, and she along with my son and Mr. Divine insisted that I have the most amazing dress possible but I wasn’t sure. That was when Kylie started looking for dresses.

Every day I would get several pictures of dresses sent to my phone by my daughter and with each new picture, I became more excited. I started looking for my dress but I couldn’t find anything I liked. My daughter told me when we sat down in the dress shop that frankly none of them were good enough for me. I went home sad that day.

Several days had passed and I was at a loss what to do. When I got home that afternoon, I found the kids in the kitchen cooking with Mr. Divine. It amazing me the way the children were with Mr. Divine, talking to him about everything, laughing. With their father they had basically stayed hidden in their rooms and kept their mouths shut. I liked the way they were behaving now a lot more. My children were building the social skills necessary to become valuable citizens of the society.

When we finally sat down to dinner it ended up being a loud affair full of conversation and laughter. It was over dessert that I saw a ticket to New York slipped in front of me. I picked it up in shock and looked at Mr. Divine, the kids, then back to the ticket. My daughter was nodding in excitement.

“What is this for?”

“For you to go and find the dress that takes your breath away. Kylie insisted that none of the dresses she saw were suitable.”

I could hardly believe it. To be able to go overseas and have a wider range of dresses to choose from was thrilling. It was something I had not even considered. Then I considered choosing the dress on my own and knew I wanted someone to come on this trip with me.

“I can’t do this by myself. I need someone to come with me for a second opinion.”

Mr. Divine smiled. “That is sorted as well. Kylie is coming with you and I expect you to buy the dress that makes you feel like you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I knew the look that filled Mr. Divine’s eyes and couldn’t help but smile. To go with the dress I also needed the most, mind-blowing, jaw-dropping lingerie he had ever seen. The thought of it made me feel truly beautiful as well as sexy.

The trip was four days and we visited two of the main bridal stores. At the first shop, I didn’t find what I wanted but the second one took my breath away. The displays were eye-catching and I walked from one to the next captivated. A consultant came and for the next three hours, I looked at dresses.

Nothing was calling to me until I walked past what I am now calling the dress. It was a huge picture against one of the walls on the way to the dressing room and it stopped me in my tracks. I had never seen anything like that and I wanted to try it on.

“That one,” I said pointing to the dress I had seen. “I need to try on that dress.”

My daughter walked up and broke out into a huge smile. “That dress is gorgeous mom. You have to try it. You have to.”

The consultant smiled. “I’ll go get you the dress.”

I didn’t even bother to try on the other dress that has been placed in the fitting room for me. I just waited until the one that caught my full attention was brought in. When I stepped into that dress it was like everything had stopped and when the zip was slid into place it started again. This was my dress and I wanted it.

Tentatively I picked up the price tag and my smile got wider. I could afford this dress. It was like the stars were in place just for me and I walked out of that store with the perfect dress. I could hardly wait for my wedding day to walk down the aisle to Mr. Divine. 

The Spoke for my Wheel

 

spoke-in-my-wheel

We wanted to go on vacation as a family.

So I go the jitters. The pre-wedding freak out because I’m asking myself if I’m doing the right thing. I know what I endured during my last marriage and this is what tries to take over my mind and often makes me so afraid to take this important step in my life. Again the fear is trying to stalk me but I know I don’t want to live in that place for the rest of my life.

How did I end up feeling like this? It came about as a result of the complications that came into play due to my evil, spawn of the devil, ex, called Walter. Everything was planned for the wedding and I had even gotten my dress after much deliberation What happened while I got the dress is another story for you to look forward to but for now let me tell you what the idiot did.

The plan for the kids and I was to do some traveling with Mr. Divine and to visit his home to get the…feel for what the area is like. The aim to figure out if it was a place we would consider moving me. The complication, I needed Walter’s permission to take the children out of the country and we were not on speaking terms due to how he behaved when he heard I was getting married. Add to it that, Mr. Divine had insisted on sending Walter a letter from my lawyer to cease and desist his harassment I don’t know how I was going to get his permission to take the children with me.
The whole thing has me worried because there was no way I was leaving my children with that man knowing that he and they were not on the best terms. I had to figure out what to do.

When I contacted my lawyer about the situation, after speaking at length we decided it was best to speak to the judge. Several months back the kids came to the decision they wanted nothing to do with their father and I mean nothing. It all came to a head in the office in the office of the school counselor in front of the principal of both children’s schools. The incident then went to a judge who wanted to insist that the children had to have visitation with their father. The adults said what they had to say then the judge said he was going to make his ruling. That was when my daughter stood up and asked about what she had to say.

“You want to send us to stay with that man.”

“Young lady you are in contempt, you need to be quiet. The adults make the decisions.”

“Yes while the children have to suffer the pain of your bad decisions. I dare you. Send me to that man and in less than a day he will be begging you to change the ruling. I will torment him worst than he tormented us. I promise I will.”

Kylie shot her father a nasty look then looked to the judge.

“I. Dare. You.”

The courtroom was dead silent that day and the judge saw that my daughter was not joking and made the decision not to make visitation necessary. Now I had to go to the same judge about the trip. There was no way we were going to tell this man we were thinking about a permanent move. We would deal with that bridge if we were ever going in that direction, till then it’s about the trip.

When we went to the judge he sighed when he saw us. My daughter also insisted on coming. She wanted to hear every decision that would affect her.

I can hear a lot of other adults saying, “that child needs to know his place’, but think about it. How many times have adults made decisions they don’t talk to children about and it destroys the child’s life? At sixteen, Kylie had the right to know what is happening to her. Unlike a lot of people, I talk to my children. Their opinions actually count.

This time the judge insisted on an aside and spoke to Kylie. They spoke back and forth for more than thirty minutes then the judge came back to the rest of us. He got the paperwork from the lawyer and looked it over.

“Mr. Haynes your children have planned a vacation with their mother and her new husband and I’m granting them permission to go on the trip.”

“Why is it she always getting what she wants and I always get punished?”

The judge turned to Walter. “This is about your children’s lives not winning. I was willing to give you a chance but from what your daughter says you have made no effort.”

“Her mother made her…”

“Your daughter is not stupid and can think for herself and I frankly think that if you were a good father it wouldn’t matter what her mother said about you if you were a good father. You are not the father these children need so until you start exhibiting that you are, it is best that the children stay with their children mother and her new husband.”

The reprimand had Walter fuming but the judge’s word was final. We would be going on vacation and maybe more. In the end, the decision that was made ended up being the best interest of the children, the persons who mattered most in this whole situation.