Young Men

YoungMan

Young love on the horizon.

Deep breath people, but my young lady has a young man who is interested in her and she seems to like him as well. She came to Mr. Divine and I full of jitters wanting to find out if she could to a movie then for ice-cream with him. I looked at her almost biting off her finger waiting for an answer.

“Relax Kylie,” urged Mr. Divine. “Tell us about the guy. Why do you like him?”

She sank down into the nearby chair and started to tell us everything. How she met, Radley. The way he behaved, why she thought he was so awesome. It was easy to see that she was captivated by this guy.

“He asked me to go out a while ago but I told him I had to think about it first.  I wanted to discover who he really was as a person first. He was patient and he waited on my decision, also he wasn’t nasty about it like some other boys who asked me out before.”

I smiled, understanding her caution. After seeing my last marriage I know she wouldn’t just jump into a relationship.

“We’ll have a talk and let you know in the morning .”

She looked at us and smiled. “Okay,” then dashed off back to her room.

“A date,” said Mr. Divine with a sigh pushing fingers through his hair.

“Yes. A date.” I replied and cuddled into his arms. Things were about to get interesting.

Photo by Crew on Unsplash

PoliTricks

KidsSayItRight

If you have kids like mine you know that a brush off or a half answer will not work when it comes to wanting answers to a question and it didn’t work when I tried to distract them from the politics topic. An explanation was insisted upon…no, make that demanded. So they roped in Mr. Divine and we ended up having a huge discussion.

I asked them what they had heard or taken note of from the last elections they knew about? They commented about the last election of one international country that seemed to come off like a bad Tv drama. Then they pointed to another upcoming election of another country that they thought would result in a complicated outcome. Then I asked them about our country. After they gave their points I started to talk.

“I remember when I was in school hearing that a democratic government was supposed to be a government of the people by the people.” I guess it was an ideal but in those days we had politicians who truly had the people’s interest at heart but nowadays I’m not so sure.

That comment required an explanation. I pointed to the bickering and the obvious opposition just because you were the opposition. The desire of some politician to be the author of a brilliant legacy when in truth if ideas were pooled it would benefit the country more. But what I hated most was the promotion of division in the country just to gain votes. The rabid desire to undo what the person before you did just because they did it even though it was a benefit to the country. That was what I despised.

The kids listened and discussed. I then pointed to one incident that was now in court so, as far as I was concerned, one individual could push themselves into the limelight and grandstand. After all ‘silly seasons’ was on the way and one had to position one’s self as a contender in the upcoming election.

A lot of the actions of the politicians were giving me the impression that what they were doing was only for their benefit and not public. This is what I saw rather than them trying to make sure the country was at its best. That and a lot of the talk rather than action to help things go better. I wanted nothing to do with their lies, so I was trying to fulfill my own personal mandate. I’m trying to be a better me with every passing day and that is where my concentration is and where I’m planning on keeping it.

Kids Say it Right

KidsSayItRightI can’t be sure, but I have a strong suspicion that ‘silly season’ is in the air and is soon about to take over. I’m sure you are wondering what ‘silly season’ in, well let me explain. When an election is called and the supporters of the various parties go from acting half stupid to full idiot then the season is in full effect.

Right now an election has not been called, but several politicians have been making sure they have been seen out and about in the community, plying their trade so to speak. Why do I refer to what they do is a trade? It’s simple. Where were any of them three and a half years ago? Like water in the Sahara difficult,  near impossible to be found no matter now had you tried. So what now? That’s a good question.

With the start of canvasing, that is people coming around knocking on your door begging for votes for their party, the kids have started to ask questions. They noted that most of the people’s political decisions were based on emotions rather than facts or logic. When my son said that I burst out in an uproarious laugh. How as it that a child under the age of eleven has it spot on but adults didn’t get it. I don’t know but somehow they did.

Settling Into Place

SettlingIntoPlace

Free and ready for whatever comes next.

From our conversation on the beach, Mr. Divine and I have been doing a lot better. That talk seemed to have opened a floodgate of conversation to make sure that we are staying on track as a couple. We sit down and just try to talk about everything as much as possible and make sure we were on the right page or just the same page about the things that might be a complication.

With Kylie enjoyed her new school and both of them studying for upcoming exams, things were settling back into a quiet state in our home. A while back Kylie had told me was interested in taking several of her exams early so she had started to do extra lessons in preparation for those exams. That had been going well and it was a major help towards her applications into university.

The children’s sporting activities have brought back up the question of the possibility of them having the opportunity to move to another country so they can further their education and ranking in the sport. We all had a long talk and the plan is to wait for Kylie’s results and see if there is any early interest from the universities that she wants to go to. Her swim coach has also been looking into scholarships at her choice universities and several other schools that would teach the courses that interest her. We would know the results in a few months and from there we would revisit the idea of moving as a family or if we would let Kylie go off on her own and have an adventure. Time would tell.

All Revealed

AllRevealed

Like the rising sun, the situation could no longer be hidden.

 

“You see,” said Kylie. “I told you I’m not the only one he has been bugging. I guess their parents skipped coming to the school and went right to the police.”

The officer that came in, make that officers, were not street cops but high ranking officers. I guess someone had gone to the top with their complaint.

The officers looked around the room from our angry faces to the boy sitting in the corner of the room rocking back and forth crying.

“What is the issue here?” asked one of the officers.

“The young lady and her parents have said the boy has been giving her double,” said the principal.

“Define trouble,” said the other officer.

“Sexual assault,” said Kylie before the principal could replay.

“The girl is just exaggerating. The boy was just playing,” said Mr. X with a laugh.

“Playing? From the conversation I overheard my niece having and the bruises I saw on her arms and thighs when I got her to tell me what happened, this is no game.”

“Are you Nadisha’s uncle or Ashley’s? Those are the two girls  he has been bugging for the last two weeks.”

“No. My niece doesn’t go to school here. This incident happened on the bus last Friday.”

The officer took out a phone and showed the principle pictures. The man was visibly shocked.

Taking out a notebook the officer turned to my daughter.

“Can I have the names of those two other young ladies? We will need to talk to them. Can you tell us what happened.”

My daughter told her story including the part about the teacher doing nothing. The officers gave Mr. X. a long look and finally he has the look of shame on his face.

“From the magnitude of this situation we going to have to take this situation to the station. This involves too many girls and this is a dangerous situation.”

Saddened the principle nodded.

“On that note,” said Mr. Divine. “I would like my daughter’s transcripts before I leave. She is not coming back to this school. Not with a teacher who turns a blind eye to sexual assault. Never.

“I was shocked he took things as far as removing Kylie from school but I understood it. The safety of the children was always his first priority and for that I loved him.

It seemed like Kylie would be starting privet school later in the week. Mr. Divine moved that fast, that fast.

Throwdown

Throwdown

Direct hit. 

The principal started to splutter and the teacher looked shocked.

 

“The boy was just playing,” said Mr. X.

“Yes. I was just playing chimed in the boy,” suddenly realizing that this was getting bigger than a simple trip to the office.

“No young man,” said Mr. Divine. “Touching or hitting a person without their consent is assault. Forcibly touching a girl or woman on parts of her body that are considered privet, that is breasts, bottom or vaginal area is considered sexual assault. There is no just playing when you force a girl in a corner and touch her while she is screaming no. It is wrong. Your teacher should know that, you should know and understand that. You need to call your parents because you are in big trouble and you have to learn that actions have consequences.”

“This a big lot of noise about nothing,” said Mr. X.

“I hope you are willing to tell that to a judge because I think I’ll be taking you to court for your lack of action with regards to this situation.

Mr. Divine took out his other phone and called his lawyer. His words froze the man.

“Those papers I told you about. You can file them. He has no remorse so why should I?”

“Why are you behaving like this?” Mr. X questions. “These are  just kids.”

“Do you understand that boys become men? Do you understand that boys who think they can touch girls wherever and whenever and don’t understand that ‘No’ really means ‘NO’ often go on to assault and rape women? Do you understand that you are a teacher and the person these children look up to and respect? Do you understand that by saying nothing you are a danger to these children?”

“You are crazy man,” said Mr. X.

“Like I said, tell it to a judge.”

The young man was standing in the corner and the look on his face said the boy was frightened out of his mind. He should be. Not to mention this school needed to talk to the boys and make them understand no, means no.

“Young man, have you called your parents?” The boy shook his head no.

“They need to be called and they need to get here now. Not the end of their work day but right now.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the secretary stuck her head without waiting for a response to come in.

“There are two police officers out here. He wants to speak to you about an incident. He named that boy,” she said pointing to the boy now trying to make himself smaller in the corner. “That is why I came to get you.”

The boy slid down onto the floor his knees weak.

No You Didn’t

NoYouDidNot

Like most mothers, I’m very protective of my children but I’ve also learnt how to let them go so they can be independent and learn how to become their own person. It’s not easy, but I’ve come to realize that the clinging and hovering often resulted in frustrated, angry and rebellious children. Observation allowed me to learn how to adjust accordingly over the past few years. That being said, let get to the real problem.

My daughter Kylie came home and I noted that she was more distant and quieter than usual. I looked at her, trying to figure out the type of quite I was dealing with. Was it a ‘that topic in class was so difficult’ or ‘a why is that person giving me a difficult time’ quiet. For some reason I wasn’t getting the clues I was used to with this situation and it was worrying me.

Mr. Divine was back from his trip and was taking us out to dinner. At dinner, he nudged me when he noticed how quiet she was. The kids were always eager to find out about his trips but it was like Kylie wasn’t even there. We decided to take a long walk along the boardwalk after dinner and as Shane wondered off to get pictures of the sunset we asked her what was the matter.

As she explained the situation I could see the vain in Mr. Divine’s head starting to rise up and throb. With my Kylie’s every word, he was getting angrier. “We’ll be going to the school tomorrow because nothing about what you just told us is right.”

“But the teacher said that is just the way boys behave.”

“No, it’s not. Decent boys don’t do that. Decent teachers don’t allow them to get away with it if you complain about it. Then even worst, try to make it your fault.

While Mr. Divine was angry I was livid. The whole situation reminded me of the entitled attitude my ex Walter often exhibited. I wasn’t standing for it. It would seem that a boy at school had started teasing Kylie, calling her rude names and being generally annoying. She chose to ignore him and in reaction, he choose to escalate the situation by pushing, pinching and basically trying to grope my daughter whenever he saw her. Frustrated she went to the teacher to try to address the situation but it was dismissed with the statement “boys will be boys” and that the boy wanted her to be his girlfriend….and it was probably her fault for ignoring him.

Oh hell no.

Taking Care of My Tree

thetreeofmylife

I’m making the changes needed to keep the tree, that is my life, growing and flourishing.

The task I have set myself to regain my motivation and to re-establish my path is going well. Well when I said regain, I must say I’ve not lost it all. It’s like I said before, some parts of the picture have become fuzzy and I need to get rid of that blind spot.

My rediscovery is going amazing and the lessons I’m finding seem to be more relevant than before. The two years before were an eye opener for me, but by not keeping constantly updated on key motivational tips, I lost my way….a little. It’s not that things aren’t going well because that are but even then you can slip into bad habits.

My bad habit is starting a task that is aimed at making a part of my life better but as time goes on, I fall by the wayside. It is not intentioned, it just sort of happens. I set a time to do a task but when the time comes I’m distracted doing something else and the dreaded happens, I forget. The routine is broken and sadly that break leads to that thing you wanted to accomplish drifting into the land of the forgotten.

I’ve made up my mind to stop these little goals from being lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. When I stopped and considered how may things I have allowed to fall into

forgetfulness, it saddens me. Little things like taking my vitamins daily, reading an article daily to discover something new. Or the big ones like practicing that language I really want to learn daily or exercising or….there are so many. All I know is that that it’s go to stop so I’m going to do something about.

Decisions….Decisions

decisions-decisions

Decisions, decisions. What choice should she make?

My oldest Kyle took the opportunity while we traveled last summer to visit several colleges and universities she was interested in furthering her studies at. The visits were informative and she came home with a significant amount of details she now had to consider. She had time, but she didn’t want to leave it so late that she missed out on any potential scholarships. The thing is, with majors, locations and offers to consider it was a lot to process.

After a long back and forth with myself and Mr. Divine, Kyle narrowed down both the careers path she was interested in and the universities that would best cater to her needs. From there it was a matter of getting applications in and talking to the coaches. With two exams already done with top passing grades, my baby is one step closer to getting what she wants. I can hardly wait.