Settling Into Place

SettlingIntoPlace

Free and ready for whatever comes next.

From our conversation on the beach, Mr. Divine and I have been doing a lot better. That talk seemed to have opened a floodgate of conversation to make sure that we are staying on track as a couple. We sit down and just try to talk about everything as much as possible and make sure we were on the right page or just the same page about the things that might be a complication.

With Kylie enjoyed her new school and both of them studying for upcoming exams, things were settling back into a quiet state in our home. A while back Kylie had told me was interested in taking several of her exams early so she had started to do extra lessons in preparation for those exams. That had been going well and it was a major help towards her applications into university.

The children’s sporting activities have brought back up the question of the possibility of them having the opportunity to move to another country so they can further their education and ranking in the sport. We all had a long talk and the plan is to wait for Kylie’s results and see if there is any early interest from the universities that she wants to go to. Her swim coach has also been looking into scholarships at her choice universities and several other schools that would teach the courses that interest her. We would know the results in a few months and from there we would revisit the idea of moving as a family or if we would let Kylie go off on her own and have an adventure. Time would tell.

Talk and More Talk

 

TalkAndMoreTalk

We kept talking until everything was settled.

 

After my heated encounter at the beach with Mr. Divine, I was…I’m not sure what I was but I was something. After my brainwashing, lol, I found myself sitting on the beach in Mr. Divine’s arms. There we talked and talked and kept talking about why I would allow my insecurities to creep in and talk over my mind.

I found it hard to explain but he wouldn’t let up, determined to understand what fueled my lack of trust. That was when I told him that Walter had left me from a woman I worked with who pretended to be my friend and who used to trick me into doing her work so she could leave early and be with my husband. That I suspected my husband used to talk my things and give to this woman and I explained about the free spa treatment I had been given that Walter had just taken.

I didn’t even know I was crying until Mr. Divine wiped the tears from my cheeks. Now I had sand on my face and was started to get cold. Taking my hand he pulled me up and lead me into the water.

“What are you wearing under that shirt and pants?” he asked.

“Not much,” I replied. “My husband has a habit of buying me racy lingerie and I miss him so I have been wearing them.”

“You are supposed to wear then all the time not just when you miss me,” said Mr. Divine flashing me a mischievous smile. “Off with those clothes. You can wear my shirts.”

I looked around the beach as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled if off. After pulling me further into the water until it was over my shoulders, Mr. Divine kissed me and I fell into the pleasure of being with him. We would be fine because we would work on being fine.

The Hidden Truth

 

HiddenTruth

Mr. Divine’s kisses can make every problem disappear. 

 

What is the meaning of you manhandling me? I don’t appreciate it one bit.”

“Will I don’t appreciate you avoiding my calls for the last few days. What is going on? Talk to me.”

I said nothing, determined to stay angry.

“Lindsay, you and my children are one of the most important things in my life. Knowing how you are is a must. Right now I know something is wrong. Even the kids know something is wrong and told me.”

My eyes widened at his statement. The children knew that something that something was wrong…that was not good. I looked at Mr. Divine then looked away.

“This is ridiculous,” I heard Mr. Divine mutter before he pulled me out of the car and tossed me over his shoulder. We had driven to the beach after he pulled me out of work and we had been just sitting there, him talking, me trying not to listen. That was when he dragged me out of the jeep and heading toward the water. When I figured what he intended I started to scream and kick. That didn’t stop him and I ended up being tossed into the sea.

I came up swinging but Mr. Divine was not about to be deterred.

“Tell me what’s going on or you are going under again.”

I started to protect and Mr. Divine ducked me again and when I came up again I could see we were attracting attention. I tried to escape but it was futile and I was subjected to several more ducks until all I could do is cling to Mr. Divine.

“The women,” I gasped.

He held me tight, “What women?”

I pressed my head against his chest and tears of frustration started to run.

“The women who are all around you, always trying to get your attention.”

Gripping my chin he made me look up and focus on him.

“Look at me and listened very carefully. I married you, Lindsay. I waited all those years for the right woman and I married you. You are my woman and I will not violate your trust so get the idea out of your head right now and keep it out.”

There in the water, he kissed me long and deep. “Don’t ever give me the silent treatment again. We talk about things and move forward.”

“Okay,” I whispered against his chest, ashamed of what I had done. I had allowed the past to creep in the fester and like an opened infected wound it had tried to destroy me. I should have known better by now.

Christmas Past

christmaspast

Some of the Christmas decorations that were to be seen as we drove out and about.

 

This is the last of my catch-up post and from now on things will be about what is going on right now, as well as short and sweet.

When Christmas came last year, things were a buzz of excitement in my house. I’m used to the kids being excited for this time of year, but this time it was like they were almost jumping out of their skin for the season to come. They were so eager they started to get the house ready even before I asked. In fact, they were asking me, and by the 3rd of December they had the house decorated on the outside and were urging me to get a live Christmas tree so they could decorate it. I got it and by the next weekend we had the tree up.

Mr. Divine has been traveling for the past three weeks and he came home the same time as the tree was going up. He dropped everything and helped us and we ended up having an amazing time putting that tree together. When we were done, we got out a tub of ice cream and enjoyed the lights as they flickered against the walls. It was the perfect way to end our night.

With Mr. Divine here, several events were added to our Christmas social calendar. It was interesting, the huge difference in the types of social experiences my children and I now encountered because of being his wife. I have done more socializing with him in the last year than I did in my pass marriage of just over eighteen years. It was an uplifting experience. We also went to my mother’s house and had the most amazing time. When she had first met Mr. Divine, she took him aside and had a long talk. It seems she decided to give him a top-up on the previous talk for Christmas. From whatever he said to her she was content and came back to us with a huge smile on her face.

We had a wild family-filled and social Christmas last year and from what I understand they have already started planning what we are going to do for Easter this year. I can hardly wait.  To me, this is what life is supposed to be about, family, love and happiness.

Settling In

settling-in

Things are slowly falling into place.

 

I’m back from my honeymoon but I might as well not be. The buzz is in full control and I’m walking around like I’m a permanent resident of cloud 9. The kids are happy we are back and eager to hear where we went and what we got up to. We gave them an edited version of our trip and they were overjoyed that we got to see so many places in a short timespan.

Now we are back home, we only have two weeks before we plan to leave for a trip as a family. Part of the trip is for us to see Mr. Divine’s house as well as taking Kyle to see some colleges. Then we are going to spend a few days enjoying the theme parks in Florida. It will be a lot of driving and flying but that was going to be all a part of the fun of getting there.

The kids had an amazing time while we were away. They spent their days with friends and family, exploring and relaxing. When we got back home, we had a fun time exchanging stories and sharing pictures. I really had an enjoyable time on that trip. Flying along on the zipline in St. Kitts, jumping off cliff rock and rope swings into breathtaking lagoons of water in more than one beautiful port. Mr. Divine truly indulged mt inner water baby.

Now we are married, Mr. Divine was officially moving into my house. we decided it was easier for one of him to move rather than three of us. We also took into account that the location of my house made it easier for all of us to get to and from work and play easier. The plan was to put his house up for rent with one of the island’s real estate agents that would also maintain and look after the property. If we left the country as a family, that was also the plan air-marked for my house. I have learnt that passive income and making my money work for me is key to building wealth.

I had thought it would be difficult to get used to Mr. Divine always being there, but if I really thought about it, he was by our house more often than not. I had gotten used to more help in the kitchen and around the house. My daughter would smile her little happy smile whenever Mr. Divine did anything sweet and loving, making me know that her opinion of men had not been warped by her father’s horrible, inexcusable actions. My children now had a role model who could help to shape their opinions of right and wrong.

Another thing I noted was that Mr. Divine Didn’t have an excessive amount of clothes and what he did have was high-end of exceptional quality. I questioned him one day to understand the reason for his choices. He explained he discovered when he bought cheaper, for example, shirts. He discovered he had to buy new shirts sooner due to wear and tear. When he bought a little more expensive, they lasted longer. He explained that over time he learned how to buy expensive for less, so now he had the best of both worlds. I was discovering and learning new tricks every day.

When Mr. Divine moved in with us we also decided to do a thorough cleaning of the house. Everything that belonged to Walter that was still in the house we packed in bags and boxes, called the police officers we dealt with in the past, plus our lawyer and his lawyer and made sure the fact I was giving him back what was his, was documented. I even sent him the old lawn mower he bought years ago that stopped working. Any gift he bought me/the house I got rid of too.

In fact, I wanted to get rid of every item of furniture or thing that reminded me of our marriage. It was like some delayed reaction where I just wanted to purge him fully from my life. Mr. Divine and the kids had to calm me down. I had planned of remodeling but they had drifted into the background when other things took a more important place in my life.

“If we are going to renovate then it;s going to have to be well thought out,” said Mr. Divine hugging me close and rubbing my back.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself while I considered what Mr. Divine was saying. recently any thought of Walter would just bring the anger boiling up in me and this was no different. In the past, I had gotten to a place where I didn’t even think about Walter or I wasn’t bothered if I heard about him but that had changed because of the recent incidents I’ve had to deal with involving him. I had to work once more at extinguishing him from my life.

“How about we pull out the old ideas we were working on for the house. Have a serious look at them. Look at the other plans we have in play for our lives and make some decisions from there,” I said.

The kids nodded and I relaxed into the couch as they went towards their rooms to plan. The house was just a tiny part of a huge picture and we would look at everything before a decision was made. Sometimes good comes from a supposedly bad situation but it was a matter of finding the good of the situation and working with it. That’s what I’ll do. Re-adjust my attitude and go after what I wanted because that was life.

Off the Rails

off-the-rails

Walter ended up before the judge…again.

There is a bit more to the story about when Walter started getting on stupid when he found out that Mr. Divine had proposed to me. Yes, he was livid when I told him that Walter has called and started berating me about my decision to get married again. The anger shifted to livid when we were at home having a games night with the kids and Walter had the audacity to turn up at my house. On boy. 

We were so engrossed in the game we didn’t even know someone was outside of the house. It was only when a loud banging started to shake the front door that let us know someone was there. Mr. Divine gave me a look and we moved cautiously to the door. The kids went to the small windows next to the door to look outside and my daughter looked back at me wide-eyed.

“I know you are in there Lindsay you bitch. You must be out of your mind if you think you can just leave me and get married. I say what you can do.”

The kids looked at me in confusion. Anger filled my daughter’s face and she moved towards the telephone and started to make a call. A crash of broken glass resounded.

Mr. Divine opened the door to see Walter with a rock in his hand about to throw it through the side window of his jeep. The crash we had heard before was a rock going through the windscreen of the jeep and when Walter saw that the door was open he rushed at us, rock in hand. Walter came at us screaming threats and for once what he said just washed over me. I was more concerned about the danger he potentially posed to all of us.

Walter threw the rock and we all ducked. It broke the window next to the door and I heard a shout of shock. I looked back to make sure the kids were alright but I was also trying to keep an eye on Mr. Divine. I didn’t know what was going on with Walter because as nasty as I had seen him behave, I had never known him to become violent. I watched the rage flowing off of Walter and I shouted for Mr. Divine to be careful.

Then to my shock, Mr. Divine stood there was Walter came at him cursing and yell and took a punch to the face. I cried out in shock but Mr. Divine calmly told me to stay back. What then unfolded was like something out of a movie. Mr. Divine leaped into the air and came down delivering a punch that knocked Walter out cold. When Walter crumpled onto the ground  Mr. Divine turned and walked up to me and pulled me into his arms for a mind sapping kiss. He reached for the kids and hugged them as well.

I was still in Mr. Divine arms when a police car pulled up. One of them moved to Walter who was still unconscious on the ground and the other came cautiously to us.

“Good night, madam, sir. We got a call about a domestic disturbance.  What is going on?”

My daughter came forward and stood in front of us. “I called you. My father just turned up here and started cursing, yelling and breaking things. He threw a rock at us and broke the window and he hit my mother’s fianceé.”

“Young lady let me speak to the adults.”

Mr. Divine turned and looked at the officer and took my hand and started to move towards the house.

“Sir. Madam. What happened here?”

Mr. Divine pointed to Kyle. “The young lady called you. She can tell you what happened. After you take her statement then you can question me. I’m going inside to get some ice and call my lawyer.”

On the ground, Walter finally started to regain consciousness. One of the officers went to him while the other called for an ambulance. A few minutes later the officer came to the door and cleared his throat. The kids looked at Mr. Divine and when he finally acknowledged the officer he pointed to the children.

“Like I said before, take their statement first then we’ll talk.”

The officer still hesitated and Mr. Divine got up. “Since you don’t want to take the kids statement. You can wait until my lawyer gets here. Then you can take everyone’s statement.”

The officer was not pleased by this change of events but that is how thing went from there on. The lawyer came forty-five minutes later and by then the officers had gotten the statement from our neighbors and an irate Walter who the ambulance had dealt with or left. He was now sitting down in the back of the police car waiting.

When the lawyer came, he insisted on talking to us first and we told him what happened. After we were done, he called in the officer.

“So what happened here?”

The lawyer pointed to the kids.

“We were all inside playing  Cashflow. I was winning and we were having fun when suddenly there was a loud banging on the door. Then we heard someone screaming and after we got up and moved towards the door I realized it was my father.”

“He was screaming nasty things about my mother. Nasty things about the fact mom was getting remarried. That was when I went to get the phone to call the police while I watched what was going on through the window.

Before I got back to the window to look out there was a crash. When I got the window mom’s fiancé was standing outside the door. It seems our dad had thrown a rock through the window of his jeep. He has another rock in his hand. When he saw mom’s fiancé at the door he rushed at him and threw the rock. We all ducked and the rock broke the window.” Kyla pointed to the broken window and the rock on the floor.

“He rushed at mom’s fiancé and punched him. Mom’s fiancé punched him back. It knocked him right out. You found him where he fell.”

Has anything like this happened before?”

“There was one incident at my workplace,” I said. “The police was called it was brought to the courts. He has been getting progressively…problematic. We have also been having problems with him and the children. It’s been getting very difficult.”

The officer closed his notebook and tapped the cover with his pen.

“Madam, how long have you left your husband?”

I sat up and looked the officer in the eye. “You need to get it right. He left me. Walked out and left me, us for another woman. Told me he had filed for a divorce. He left me more than two to three years ago. He made me miserable all during my marriage and has been trying to do the same thing since the divorce was made final months ago.”

“Okay madam. We will be taking your ex down to the station and charging him with assault and damage to property.”

“I’m sure we can find a few more things to charge him with,” said the lawyer. “He has become a constant problem for my clients. We will be coming to the station in the morning to give an official statement.”

The officer nodded and the lawyer went with him to the door. When he came back he sat down and discussed our options. Charges had to be laid or Walter would continue to be a problem. I didn’t want things to come to this point but I need to go on with my life.

We ended up at the station and in court the next day. Our lawyer was swinging a heavy bat and when we walked out Walter had been charged and faced possible jail time. The fact that he had an incident before would mean this time he would be going to jail for sure. He also had to stay away from us. Time would reveal the outcome but no matter what my children and I were getting on with our lives.

Happy New Year

happynewyear1

Happy New Year to all my followers.

 

As the new year begins I’m eager for what is to come. Not only do the kids, Mr. Divine and I have plans for an exciting year, but I also plan to make several changes to my blog. Not only will I be making my usual blog post, but expect mini-post between post, book reviews, videos and other little bit and bobs that highlight what I have been up to. I look forward to sharing more with you as I continue to discover new things every day.

Along with these post, I think I’ll be starting a new story on my WattPad page. It’s just an idea so far and I still have a long way to go before I finalise the plot or at least be sure about the general direction I want the story to take. It will be interesting but I found a true joy in writing and I can’t wait to start this adventure.

I look forward to sharing all these different things with you and hope you enjoy them. Comment, and let me know what you think and I’ll be more than happy to reply. Have an amazing year everyone. Go after your dreams like I am intending to. Dream hunting is one of the most fulfilling things you can do so go for it.

The Dress

the-dress

I’ve finally found my perfect dress.

I’m not sure if I mentioned it before, but  I’m not really a fan of shopping. My attitude to the concept has improved in the last few years but that was due to me finally learning how to shop for my body type and what looked good on me. Despite that change, when it came to a wedding dress I didn’t even have a clue where to start. A basic search and a look at those bride shows on the television had me nearly overwhelmed by the different types of dresses. It was looking like I would be spending more time than I had expected to find that dress and considering that I only had a few weeks I knew I had to get to it sooner rather than later. I found myself standing in front of the mirror doing a body assessment to try to at least narrow down the type of dress that would best suit me. My daughter looked at me when she saw me just standing there.
“Mom! What are you doing? I came into the room and you didn’t even realize I was in the room.”

I explained my dilemma and my daughters tugged me into the bed, got her laptop and started looking at dress styles. That was when I discovered the difference between a ballgown, an A-line, a mermaid and a sheath styled wedding dress. I had it in my head I would just get a simple dress and that would be it. My daughter was not having that, and she along with my son and Mr. Divine insisted that I have the most amazing dress possible but I wasn’t sure. That was when Kylie started looking for dresses.

Every day I would get several pictures of dresses sent to my phone by my daughter and with each new picture, I became more excited. I started looking for my dress but I couldn’t find anything I liked. My daughter told me when we sat down in the dress shop that frankly none of them were good enough for me. I went home sad that day.

Several days had passed and I was at a loss what to do. When I got home that afternoon, I found the kids in the kitchen cooking with Mr. Divine. It amazing me the way the children were with Mr. Divine, talking to him about everything, laughing. With their father they had basically stayed hidden in their rooms and kept their mouths shut. I liked the way they were behaving now a lot more. My children were building the social skills necessary to become valuable citizens of the society.

When we finally sat down to dinner it ended up being a loud affair full of conversation and laughter. It was over dessert that I saw a ticket to New York slipped in front of me. I picked it up in shock and looked at Mr. Divine, the kids, then back to the ticket. My daughter was nodding in excitement.

“What is this for?”

“For you to go and find the dress that takes your breath away. Kylie insisted that none of the dresses she saw were suitable.”

I could hardly believe it. To be able to go overseas and have a wider range of dresses to choose from was thrilling. It was something I had not even considered. Then I considered choosing the dress on my own and knew I wanted someone to come on this trip with me.

“I can’t do this by myself. I need someone to come with me for a second opinion.”

Mr. Divine smiled. “That is sorted as well. Kylie is coming with you and I expect you to buy the dress that makes you feel like you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I knew the look that filled Mr. Divine’s eyes and couldn’t help but smile. To go with the dress I also needed the most, mind-blowing, jaw-dropping lingerie he had ever seen. The thought of it made me feel truly beautiful as well as sexy.

The trip was four days and we visited two of the main bridal stores. At the first shop, I didn’t find what I wanted but the second one took my breath away. The displays were eye-catching and I walked from one to the next captivated. A consultant came and for the next three hours, I looked at dresses.

Nothing was calling to me until I walked past what I am now calling the dress. It was a huge picture against one of the walls on the way to the dressing room and it stopped me in my tracks. I had never seen anything like that and I wanted to try it on.

“That one,” I said pointing to the dress I had seen. “I need to try on that dress.”

My daughter walked up and broke out into a huge smile. “That dress is gorgeous mom. You have to try it. You have to.”

The consultant smiled. “I’ll go get you the dress.”

I didn’t even bother to try on the other dress that has been placed in the fitting room for me. I just waited until the one that caught my full attention was brought in. When I stepped into that dress it was like everything had stopped and when the zip was slid into place it started again. This was my dress and I wanted it.

Tentatively I picked up the price tag and my smile got wider. I could afford this dress. It was like the stars were in place just for me and I walked out of that store with the perfect dress. I could hardly wait for my wedding day to walk down the aisle to Mr. Divine. 

The Spoke for my Wheel

 

spoke-in-my-wheel

We wanted to go on vacation as a family.

So I go the jitters. The pre-wedding freak out because I’m asking myself if I’m doing the right thing. I know what I endured during my last marriage and this is what tries to take over my mind and often makes me so afraid to take this important step in my life. Again the fear is trying to stalk me but I know I don’t want to live in that place for the rest of my life.

How did I end up feeling like this? It came about as a result of the complications that came into play due to my evil, spawn of the devil, ex, called Walter. Everything was planned for the wedding and I had even gotten my dress after much deliberation What happened while I got the dress is another story for you to look forward to but for now let me tell you what the idiot did.

The plan for the kids and I was to do some traveling with Mr. Divine and to visit his home to get the…feel for what the area is like. The aim to figure out if it was a place we would consider moving me. The complication, I needed Walter’s permission to take the children out of the country and we were not on speaking terms due to how he behaved when he heard I was getting married. Add to it that, Mr. Divine had insisted on sending Walter a letter from my lawyer to cease and desist his harassment I don’t know how I was going to get his permission to take the children with me.
The whole thing has me worried because there was no way I was leaving my children with that man knowing that he and they were not on the best terms. I had to figure out what to do.

When I contacted my lawyer about the situation, after speaking at length we decided it was best to speak to the judge. Several months back the kids came to the decision they wanted nothing to do with their father and I mean nothing. It all came to a head in the office in the office of the school counselor in front of the principal of both children’s schools. The incident then went to a judge who wanted to insist that the children had to have visitation with their father. The adults said what they had to say then the judge said he was going to make his ruling. That was when my daughter stood up and asked about what she had to say.

“You want to send us to stay with that man.”

“Young lady you are in contempt, you need to be quiet. The adults make the decisions.”

“Yes while the children have to suffer the pain of your bad decisions. I dare you. Send me to that man and in less than a day he will be begging you to change the ruling. I will torment him worst than he tormented us. I promise I will.”

Kylie shot her father a nasty look then looked to the judge.

“I. Dare. You.”

The courtroom was dead silent that day and the judge saw that my daughter was not joking and made the decision not to make visitation necessary. Now I had to go to the same judge about the trip. There was no way we were going to tell this man we were thinking about a permanent move. We would deal with that bridge if we were ever going in that direction, till then it’s about the trip.

When we went to the judge he sighed when he saw us. My daughter also insisted on coming. She wanted to hear every decision that would affect her.

I can hear a lot of other adults saying, “that child needs to know his place’, but think about it. How many times have adults made decisions they don’t talk to children about and it destroys the child’s life? At sixteen, Kylie had the right to know what is happening to her. Unlike a lot of people, I talk to my children. Their opinions actually count.

This time the judge insisted on an aside and spoke to Kylie. They spoke back and forth for more than thirty minutes then the judge came back to the rest of us. He got the paperwork from the lawyer and looked it over.

“Mr. Haynes your children have planned a vacation with their mother and her new husband and I’m granting them permission to go on the trip.”

“Why is it she always getting what she wants and I always get punished?”

The judge turned to Walter. “This is about your children’s lives not winning. I was willing to give you a chance but from what your daughter says you have made no effort.”

“Her mother made her…”

“Your daughter is not stupid and can think for herself and I frankly think that if you were a good father it wouldn’t matter what her mother said about you if you were a good father. You are not the father these children need so until you start exhibiting that you are, it is best that the children stay with their children mother and her new husband.”

The reprimand had Walter fuming but the judge’s word was final. We would be going on vacation and maybe more. In the end, the decision that was made ended up being the best interest of the children, the persons who mattered most in this whole situation.

Plans

plans

Maybe I’ll get something like this for my bouquet.

The thought of dealing with the planning of a wedding makes me cringe and I think Mr. Divine picked that up when after he asked me one day I put my head under a pillow and screamed in frustration. With a laugh, he pulled me out of hiding and into his arms and asked me what was the problem. I explained that I was over the making called and all things the needed to be done to get things arranged.

That was when that precious man suggested the most amazing thing. We would choose a hotel and let their wedding planner do everything else. All we need to do was choose a hotel, a date for the wedding, colours and flower types. The numbers of my guest also my attendants then that was it other than clothing. I looked at him wide-eyed.

“So when do you want to get married?” he whispered against my lips. “Morning, afternoon or evening.” Each question came with a kiss and over the next two hours we had everything planned. All we needed was dresses, tuxes and to choose a hotel.

We ended up picking the hotel where we met as the location where to hold the wedding. My sister, Florence that saved me from my downwards spiral and my daughter would be my attendants, but we were yet to decide who would give me away. We decided on thirty guests made up of immediate family and extra close friends who would be at the wedding and join us for a quiet. This would happen after an evening ceremony on the beach.

For flowers, I decided to go for tropical colours and flowers done in a simple hand-tie bouquet with orchids, torch gingers, shampoo gingers and other strong tropical flowers. Buttonholes and anything else could be done in orchids. With all the things I considered different sorted out, all I had to do was back in being in love. Then there was to find my dress and everything was sorted.

So location, check. Food and guests, check. Now it’s to get the little matter of getting the dresses and I will be getting married. I have sorted what I was sure is the hard part, but I think things will get more interesting before I get to walk down the aisle.