Talk and More Talk

 

TalkAndMoreTalk

We kept talking until everything was settled.

 

After my heated encounter at the beach with Mr. Divine, I was…I’m not sure what I was but I was something. After my brainwashing, lol, I found myself sitting on the beach in Mr. Divine’s arms. There we talked and talked and kept talking about why I would allow my insecurities to creep in and talk over my mind.

I found it hard to explain but he wouldn’t let up, determined to understand what fueled my lack of trust. That was when I told him that Walter had left me from a woman I worked with who pretended to be my friend and who used to trick me into doing her work so she could leave early and be with my husband. That I suspected my husband used to talk my things and give to this woman and I explained about the free spa treatment I had been given that Walter had just taken.

I didn’t even know I was crying until Mr. Divine wiped the tears from my cheeks. Now I had sand on my face and was started to get cold. Taking my hand he pulled me up and lead me into the water.

“What are you wearing under that shirt and pants?” he asked.

“Not much,” I replied. “My husband has a habit of buying me racy lingerie and I miss him so I have been wearing them.”

“You are supposed to wear then all the time not just when you miss me,” said Mr. Divine flashing me a mischievous smile. “Off with those clothes. You can wear my shirts.”

I looked around the beach as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled if off. After pulling me further into the water until it was over my shoulders, Mr. Divine kissed me and I fell into the pleasure of being with him. We would be fine because we would work on being fine.

Married Life

MarriedLife

Sometimes you get in your own way.

One thing I know about marriage is that it isn’t easy to move your way forward, both the spouse and I have to be on the same page as well as reading the same line. That being said, Mr. Divine and I had our first disagreement of sorts. The fact that my husband traveled so often for work like a worm that was festering in the back of my mind. When he was away he was always in contact with both myself and the children, but its the fact he is not here that gets to me.  Add to that, my mind drifts to the fact I was clueless about what my Ex had been doing all those years and the insane scenarios start to take over my mind.

 

I was so in a grip of confusion that when Mr. Divine called, I made up so many stupid excuses not to talk to him. For most of his trip, I avoided his calls and stewed. I had let the past and all the things that my Ex had been doing and I didn’t know about and came up with the possibility that Mr. Divine may be doing that same thing to me. All the while I was in my head, the kids had spoken to Mr. Divine and he had cut his trip short. I was beyond shocked when he showed up and called me out of work.

New School Rocks

NewSchoolRocks

My Kylie settling into her new school without a problem.

Like I said, I don’t know how Mr. Divine pulled it off but he had Kylie in school before the week was over. It seemed that several of his friends and associates had school aged children, and most of them went to one of the two exclusive schools in my country. That was where Kylie was not enrolled. I went with Mr. Divine and did a walk through of the school and was massively impressed with what I saw.

 

A talk with the teachers showed me that my Kylie would not have a problem settling back into school when it came to studying but I was worried about her finding friends at this new school. One thing I knew was that being new was never easy but time would tell. On her first day, a new classmate came to give Kylie a tour and when she saw Kylie, the girl had a questioning look on her face.

“Do you swim? You look like a girl who’s race times I’m always trying to beat that swim for Neptune Swim Club.”

“Yes I swim for Neptune but my times are not that great.”

“Are you kidding me? Have you never checked your ranking?”

Kylie looked from Mr. Divine to me then to the girl who was almost bouncing in excitement. With you here, we can actually place in the inter-school swim tournament. This is so cool.”

Grabbing Kylie’s hand she pulled her towards her classroom.

“Come, let me introduce you to everyone,” she said and Kylie waved back at us as she was hurried away.

It seemed like I had nothing to worry about when it came to friends. Time will tell.

That afternoon when we picked up Kylie a smiling young lady greeted us. The whole drive to meet her brother at the pool was filled with non-stop chatter about how her day went. She was truly excited about her new school and the possibilities of what was now open to her.

There is often a saying that from every disappointment there is a new and better appointment, and I think this is what was happening for Kylie. She was about to move forward to do bigger and better things.

Happy New Year

happynewyear1

Happy New Year to all my followers.

 

As the new year begins I’m eager for what is to come. Not only do the kids, Mr. Divine and I have plans for an exciting year, but I also plan to make several changes to my blog. Not only will I be making my usual blog post, but expect mini-post between post, book reviews, videos and other little bit and bobs that highlight what I have been up to. I look forward to sharing more with you as I continue to discover new things every day.

Along with these post, I think I’ll be starting a new story on my WattPad page. It’s just an idea so far and I still have a long way to go before I finalise the plot or at least be sure about the general direction I want the story to take. It will be interesting but I found a true joy in writing and I can’t wait to start this adventure.

I look forward to sharing all these different things with you and hope you enjoy them. Comment, and let me know what you think and I’ll be more than happy to reply. Have an amazing year everyone. Go after your dreams like I am intending to. Dream hunting is one of the most fulfilling things you can do so go for it.

Plans

plans

Maybe I’ll get something like this for my bouquet.

The thought of dealing with the planning of a wedding makes me cringe and I think Mr. Divine picked that up when after he asked me one day I put my head under a pillow and screamed in frustration. With a laugh, he pulled me out of hiding and into his arms and asked me what was the problem. I explained that I was over the making called and all things the needed to be done to get things arranged.

That was when that precious man suggested the most amazing thing. We would choose a hotel and let their wedding planner do everything else. All we need to do was choose a hotel, a date for the wedding, colours and flower types. The numbers of my guest also my attendants then that was it other than clothing. I looked at him wide-eyed.

“So when do you want to get married?” he whispered against my lips. “Morning, afternoon or evening.” Each question came with a kiss and over the next two hours we had everything planned. All we needed was dresses, tuxes and to choose a hotel.

We ended up picking the hotel where we met as the location where to hold the wedding. My sister, Florence that saved me from my downwards spiral and my daughter would be my attendants, but we were yet to decide who would give me away. We decided on thirty guests made up of immediate family and extra close friends who would be at the wedding and join us for a quiet. This would happen after an evening ceremony on the beach.

For flowers, I decided to go for tropical colours and flowers done in a simple hand-tie bouquet with orchids, torch gingers, shampoo gingers and other strong tropical flowers. Buttonholes and anything else could be done in orchids. With all the things I considered different sorted out, all I had to do was back in being in love. Then there was to find my dress and everything was sorted.

So location, check. Food and guests, check. Now it’s to get the little matter of getting the dresses and I will be getting married. I have sorted what I was sure is the hard part, but I think things will get more interesting before I get to walk down the aisle.

The Quarrel

the-quarrel

He pulled me into his arms and held me while we sat in silence.

Mr. Divine is livid. Like caveman, she’s mine, beat his chest, toss me over his shoulder and lock me in for his pleasure, kind of livid. It had me shivering with pleasure at the thought that I was so important to someone. What has caused this or more like whom? No one else but my stupid ex, Walter.

It all started when Walter called the office and started to berate me because he heard I’m wearing a huge engagement ring. His motor-mouth woman who works in my office spotted my rock and passed on the message. I know the expletive wanted to cause trouble when she transferred a call from him to my phone, but I send it right back to her. I had quite the laugh listening to them but my ultimate fear was becoming real. My ex was far from happy I was moving on.

The gall. I know. After all, he left me and took up with a woman, so why was he angry I had become involved with someone? Sadly it was the way he was. His joy stemmed from making others feeling inferior and he had been doing it to me for years. Now he is angry I was taking a step further out of his clutches.

Now to my caveman, Mr. Divine. We have made the decision to get married and we were still trying to decide if we were going to live locally or transfer to his home overseas. The kids were of the opinion that we should take the time to test out both locations to see which one will be the best for everyone. The kids are of the opinion that it didn’t matter where their friends were, they could still keep in touch.

Now to the matter of their father…yes I have been avoiding telling you what happened but you now what. I might as well get it over with. When Mr. Divine found out about the Walter incident, yes he was livid but to my shock, he didn’t have a snap reaction. When we were finally together he pulled me into his arms and held me while we sat in silence.
It felt like we were there for about an hour but it hadn’t been that long. Tipping my chin up, Mr. Divine made me look into his eyes.

“As much as I would like to kick that bastard’s ass from here into eternity, we have to deal with Walter on a legal level and make sure nothing like this every happens again. He knows he isn’t allowed to contact you like that so we will remind him. But know this, if he comes near you I will take him down with extreme prejudice.”

My eyes widened at how calmly he stated his intent.

“Also I want you and the kids to learn self-defense in case of an incident where you need to protect yourself. I would devastate me if something happened to you and it was as a result of you not being able to protect yourselves.”

Something swelled in me when I heard Mr. Divine’s words and I gave them some serious thought. He didn’t just want to be the big guy protecting his woman and children, he wanted us strong and able if we ever ran into trouble as well. That very second I knew I was linking myself with a strong man with a good heart, and together with the children we would grow from strength to strength.

The Reaction

When a Man wants More 1

The ring is now finally staying on my finger.

So I have officially said ‘Yes’ to Mr. Divine and we are in continued discussion about what I will…make that ‘we’ will do next. With the kids in mind, we have decided it would be best to get married during July then take the rest of the summer to relax and settle down as a family. The thing is there is still Walter in the background who might want to cause us problems. We are keeping it in mind that if we try to move he could decide to kick up a fuss and cause trouble, but after the way the judge dealt with him regarding the children, he may take that as a cue to leave well enough alone.

I have finally put on my ring, well make that Mr. Divine has made sure that it was no longer hidden away on my necklace. After we had that talk on the beach, he told me it was time to put my ring on my finger and let it stay there. When I went to work the next week I tried to act natural, but of all the people who spotted my ring first, it was Walter’s side bit now girlfriend. Her jaw dropped when she saw my ring, unable to believe I was making a commitment again. Like I said Mr. Divine had slipped on a ‘she-is-mine-so-back-off sized rock onto my finger. I looked her dead in the eyes, daring her to say anything.

Her mouth opened and closed like a fish trying to get air then she cleared her throat.

“You were asked to come to the office,” she said.

I continued to look at her and she backed away. Since I had left Walter my confidence had grown and I stood up for myself more. I had gotten past the norm I use to operate under when I was married to Walter.  No more allowing people to push me around and manipulate me. Confidence looked and felt good on me and I intended to keep it.

As the day progressed, others spotted the ring and commented about it. I smiled and said thank you but kept my business to myself. When I went to my boss earlier, he congratulated me. It seems Mr. Divine had told him about our general plan, so he wanted to remind me to keep my options opened when it came to my job. We talked back and forth for a while and when I went back to my desk I felt good about my job and what I could and couldn’t do.

No sooner than I sat down to my desk, my phone started to ring. It was an internal transfer so I picked up expecting a business call or a colleague after I gave my greeting. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was Walter.

“You could hardly wait to divorce me but now you’ve got a big ring on your finger. Do you really think he wants you? You’re nothing but a cold, sexless prude.

Taking a deep breath I gave him the answer he needed.

“I’m sorry sir but you have the wrong number.” I transferred him to his woman’s extension and waited for the blowup. Two seconds laterI heard it.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” she yelled into the phone.

I nearly  fell out of my chair trying not to laugh. I took up my phone and called Mr. Divine and in a whispered conversation told him what had happened. I could hear that he was fuming but I calmed him. When I saw him we would talk and see what we would do next but for now back to work. I would deal with Walter later.

I said ‘Yes’

I said 'Yes'

“Yes.” The word of acceptance, the giving of consent, the acknowledgement that you have agreed to do something. That is what I did. I said yes and agreed to marry Mr. Divine. Yes.

I have never seen a happier man and when I whispered this words to him, he held me close and kiss me for what felt like forever. Slow, long and deep, and I don’t doubt that he was trying to fill me with his love. I took his touch and cuddled close, but what now?

Trailing my hands over his chest I asked him just that.

“We’ll talk to the kids and see what they have to say. From there we will plan and see what we do next.

I considered what he said then nodded. I had been so mentally caught up in the turmoil of his proposal I that I forgot the impact his request would have on my children. They are comfortable with and got along well with Mr. Divine but that was my…partner, boyfriend. How would they deal with him as a more permanent father figure? Yes indeed, the talk with the children would be vital.

We waited, until the weekend to have the talk with the children and we planned for it to talk took place at the one location where we all felt most comfortable…the beach. My daughter has become a more perceptive child and I knew she took note of my change in demeanor. The morning after my long talk with Mr. Divine, she gave me a long look over the breakfast table then broke into a huge smile before continuing to eat. Somehow she knew I had made a decision.

At the beach, we settled down and talked. There was a lot to discuss. When we would get married, where, but more important when that day passed where would we live as a family. The children were happy that I had said yes, but where we would live was a valid question. Major exams were approaching for both children and what they would do next would be a key element in their lives. We spent the whole day talking, throwing ideas back and forth and as the sun set we had a rough plan about what we were going to do.

The kids were past happy, ecstatic was the best way to describe them and they eagerly contributed to the plan as we went home. They wanted us to be a family. One thing Mr. Divine and I needed to discuss was what country would we live in. The bulk of his  business was overseas even though he travelled to where I lived quite a lot. Then there was the company that I had started that took tourist on hiking tours. It was going well, but if we moved what would I do? I started making a list because there was a lot to deal with and  I planned to make sure everything was discussed. If I was getting into this relationship I wanted to enter it with my eyes opened and everything on the table. We would talk and plan, then move forward because that was all we could do. Live.

Cover Reveal

So I finally have it. The cover for my story Diary of a Recovering Idiot. I have made changes to the story and I will be re-publishing it from the beginning on Wattpad.

Here it is.

The cover was done by the amazing Clairey Lovell at C & K Creations. When I saw this cover, it embodied all my feelings in one picture. If you don’t know my story, follow me at the links below for continued updates about my life and links to my story that is being re-posted.

Twitter – https://twitter.com/DiryOfRecovriId

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/Diary-of-a-Recovering-Idiot-481568121942525/

Wattpad – https://www.wattpad.com/story/9696601-diary-of-a-recovering-idiot

 

 

 

The Talk

The Talk

“I love you with every breath I take and just the of being with you fills me with joy.”

After taking a few deep breaths, make that a lot of deep breaths, I have finally called Mr. Divine and told him I need to talk. Always attentive, he took note of my  tone of voice and arranged for us to have an intimate, uninterrupted dinner. He took us to one of my favourite restaurants and as we sat down to eat, I tried to let the rush of the waves sooth me. After dinner, he got the classes, took the bottle of while and lead us to a quiet spot on the beach.

We sat there in silence for several minutes while he played with the ring on my finger. It was a habit he had developed and he did it whenever we were sitting down relaxing.

“I’m frightened,” I said in a rush. Trying to pull my hand away from him, but he held on.

“No, my love.” He pulled me into his arms and cuddle me against his chest. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

We stayed there and did just that. It was like a dam had been broken and I told him everything. The fact that I had been waiting for the next shoe to drop when it came to our relationship, and that I was in no way prepared for that shoe to be a marriage proposal.

“I never expected us to get so far. When I sit done in the quiet of the night, all I think is that I’m damaged. I had to be to say in the relationship I was in with Walter for so long.”

“You aren’t damaged,” growled Mr. Divine. He twined his hands in my hair and pulled me closer. “You need to wipe those insane thoughts from your mind. That man you married to was a practised liar and manipulator. To him, it was like breathing and he used his twisted talent on you every single day. You love him and were convinced he loved you, so you believed his every word. The problems in your marriage were because of him. You have survived and moved forward despite him.”

“Why do you want to marry me?”

“Why wouldn’t I want to be with you? A breathtaking, beautiful woman, who is strong and loving, with a heart that is overflowing with kindness.”

I fell into the intensity of his eyes when he tilted my head back. “I love you with every breath I take and just the idea of being with you fills me with joy. That is why I want to marry you because I love you. You Lindsay, forever you.”

I was crying and I didn’t even know I was. The sweep of this thumb over my damp cheeks, then a slow, deep kiss stripped away the last of that fear that had been trying to control me.

When Mr. Divine lifted his head, his eyes captured me and I answered him finally.

“Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”