First Date

 

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“Mom he bought me flowers. Flowers.”  Photo by PHUOC LE on Unsplash

The young man standing in the door was a handsome boy and when he saw my daughter walking towards him he broke out into a huge smile. From behind him, he pulled out a bunch of flowers.

 

“These are for you,” he said handing my daughter a bouquet that consisted of a combination of mixed flowers.

Her smile got wider. “Thank you,” she whispered then turned to be awestruck.

“Mom he bought me flowers. Flowers.”

“Yes he did,” I said. “Let me take them and put them in water.”

Taking then I moved towards the kitchen, pleased he had made such an effort. When I brought back the flowers I placed them in the middle of the coffee table which was between Radley, Kylie and Mr. Divine who was sitting along with Radley’s father. Mr. Divine had exercised his slick investigation methods and whatever he had discovered had him smiling.

“Honey, they are going to watch ‘Wonder Woman’,” he said. “That should be interesting. I can hardly wait to hear how it was.”

By the time the conversation was completed, the decision was made that we would pick up the kids at ten o’clock to drive them home.

When they left Mr. Divine flopped back into the couch like a marionette whose strings had been cut.

“Watching her walk through that door felt like I was getting the skin ripped off my body with tweezers,” he gasped pulling me into his arms and holding me tight.

I understood his pain. “Me too. I feel like rushing out of the house to follow them.”

I laughed holding him tighter. “Please don’t put ideas into my head because I will be more than tempted to follow them.”

Getting comfortable I closed my eyes and let Mr. Divine hold me. Ten o’clock was going to take forever to come but until then I would let my little girl enjoy her first date.

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Date Prep

 

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We found the perfect outfit. Photo by Artificial Photography on Unsplash

With permission granted, Kylie and her young man have chosen where and when they plan to go on their date. The plan is he would pick her up from our house to go out, then we would pick them up from where they ended up going to watch the movie. My young lady was beyond excited about the upcoming day, and after we had a talk and got a new outfit she became a lot more settled.

We got her a cute peasant top with blues and reds that she planned to wear with jeans or the new pants we got to go with it. When the afternoon came, Kylie came to me and hugged me tightly. “Help me get ready,” she begged, trying to keep her excitement under control.

“You’ll be fine. Go start getting ready and I’ll help you finish.”

She tried not to rush off to start but in truth she did and after about half an hour she came back dressed in the shorts and top we had bought.

When she stepped out of her room and walked down the corridor to me I was blown away. I had to fight not to cry.

“You look so beautiful baby,” I hugged her tight then sat her down.

“You don’t need makeup but we have that really pretty lip gloss that we bought when we went shopping.”

Together we sorted out a hairstyle then did her face with a light dusting of translucent powder and the lip gloss.

“Perfect,” I said sitting back to see how she looked. “All ready?”

She gave me a shy smile. “All ready. Thanks for helping me mom. It may not look it but I’m so nervous.”

“Just be the amazing you that you are,” I whispered to her as there was a knock on the door. It was time for my baby to go on her first date.

Telling Them No

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‘No’ means ‘No’. Photo by Cooper Smith on Unsplash

As Kylie and I kept talking I switched to a delicate topic that needed to be addressed even if I didn’t want to bring it up.

 

“Do you remember the incident that caused us to transfer you to your new school?”

“Yes,” she whispered. It was a topic she wasn’t fond of but she knew what I had to say was important if I brought it up.

“It’s not always guys that you are not involved with that don’t understand or listen when you say no, but also some guys that you like and you go out with on a date sometimes think they have the right to take more than you are willing to offer. If you say no, say it and mean it and make sure anything you don’t like comes to a stop.”

She looked at me with wide eyes and bit her lips. “That is why we insisted you go for a refresher self-defense course. If you say no and someone does not listen. Make them understand ‘No’ means ‘No’. Don’t hesitate. Do what you must and find help at once.”

The conversation and the questions continued for the rest of our outing and by the end of it all, Kylie understood more about sex. The lies people told about it and to get it. The need to understand more about her body and the fact she should always listen to it and take note of its reactions. I explained that she had a lot to learn and I was here, ready and willing to answer any question she had.

I knew Kylie was a thinker but I was aware how easy it was for a smooth-talking boy to turn your head. After all, it happened to me. Time will tell and it is up to her. I just want her to have a better experience than me, so I’ll equip her as best I can for what may come. In this day and age it was the right thing for any responsible parent to do.

Zero Pleasure

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For every woman it is different. Photo by Ahmed Ashhaadh on Unsplash

My conversation was giving Kylie a lot more understanding about the topic of sex. She now understand it was an act but then it was also much more. For several minutes she said nothing but I could tell she was deep in thought trying to figure out what to ask me next.

“Note, guys will tell you almost anything to get you to have sex. For some of them, it’s the conquest and a lot of them will do whatever to get it.”

“Could you explain arousal. What does it feel like?”

“For every woman it is different but the best way I can describe it is a building feeling of eagerness and excitement in both your mind and your body. Also, it is important to know with every woman the degree of arousal varies. When it comes to the body most people just think the main parts, your breasts and vagina but a well-placed touch can lead to arousal. Think of your skin as one huge organ and if some you like touches you. Combined that with the right words and a woman can be aroused. It’s the concept of foreplay. Sadly it is something very few men seem to understand or have mastered, but some are improving.”

We moved around the store in silence for a bit then Kylie took up a top then turned to me. “I like this one? What do you think?”

“Try it on and we’ll see if it works.” She placed it over her hand with the other clothes she held then turned to me.

“Can I ask you a question mom. It’s about dad and my…father.” Soon after we got married the children started called Mr. Divine dad. The first time they did it the man had to fight back tears. He showed then time and again he would protect them no matter what.

“Ask away.”

“I watch you with dad now and think back to the way things used to be with my father. Why do you think he was like that? So cruel and nasty to you.”

“It could be several things. The main one I can come up with is that your father was a selfish and insecure man and the only way he could feel good about himself was to make others feel bad about themselves. He used to do that to me a lot. Make me feel like I was stupid. His aim was to have power over me. It was all about him. That is why I urge you, the day a guy makes you feel bad about yourself, leave him. Leave him at once. It is the beginning of things going from bad to worst.”

“Okay mom,” she whispered hugging me.

“If a guy doesn’t want to take the time with you it is never a good thing. If you want to go slow but he is in a hurry and wants to use guilt on you to get you to do what he wants, that is a bad sign. He does not love you. He never loved you.”

The Path to Pleasure

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Like I was saying before, Kylie is going on her first date and as a result, I have decided to have a detailed sex talk with her. Like always, my little warrior keeps on surprising me.

As we kept shopping Kylie urged me to explain the factors that went along with pleasure. I took a deep breath and tried to find the words to explain the concept versus the reality of pleasure when it came to women.

“Like I said, for a lot of women sex is tied to emotion. It’s just one of the factors for some women but many may consider it a key one. Then we start to add all the other things. Who is the guy? Do you find him attractive or is he just gahhhh? When he touched you does your body say hello or go to sleep?”

My explanations had her laughing but she was understanding my points.

“Then we start to get more technical. Does he have experience and understand a woman’s body or is he a poker?”

“Poker? I know you’re not talking about the game so what do you mean?”

“Someone who doesn’t have a clue what they are doing but they are pretending they do and they are just poking things in places and touching things but nothing is happening.”

“Don’t forget we are talking about pleasure. The enjoyment of the sex. If his touch is not right or finding the right spots then there is zero pleasure.”

“Your person needs to arouse you and if he’s not doing that he’s not doing it right but more importantly he is not the guy for you.”

Another Happy New Year

 

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Happy New Year everyone. Photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash

Welcome to 2018 everyone. Happy New Year. I’m getting myself ready for an excitingly busy year filled with new adventures and discoveries. As promised, I’ve got those post ready and I’ll be rolling them out each week along with other little posts about what is going on right now. Be on the lookout for another post this week and until then 🏖, 🌞 and 😃.

 

Season’s Greetings To All

 

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Merry Christmas to each and every one.

As the day dawns and my mind is instantly filling with all the things I need to get done for tomorrow, I know I must not only pause, but stop to say Season’s Greetings, Merry Christmas, Joy and Love for the season but most of all to thank you all for following my blog and being here for me. Enjoy your day and from my family to yours at this special time, 🏖, 🌞 and 😃.

 

Tis The Busy Season

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Getting some cards ready for the coming season.  Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It’s a busy time for everyone as this year is winding down and we are off scampering in different directions to get ready for the festive season or finish off task we want to get done or get things in place for the new year. For me, it’s all three. I need to get the blog back on track to tell you everything that’s been going on in the past months and I’m trying to do a million other things. To solve my dilemma, I’ve decided I won’t be posting much this month, but I’ll be getting as many posts as possible written for the new year. There is so much to update you about and like I said before, I want to get it right.

Okay guys, this is all for now. The hubby and the kids have a game set up on the play station and I plan to kick some virtual butt. Till later guys. 🏖, 🌞 and 😃.

PoliTricks

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If you have kids like mine you know that a brush off or a half answer will not work when it comes to wanting answers to a question and it didn’t work when I tried to distract them from the politics topic. An explanation was insisted upon…no, make that demanded. So they roped in Mr. Divine and we ended up having a huge discussion.

I asked them what they had heard or taken note of from the last elections they knew about? They commented about the last election of one international country that seemed to come off like a bad Tv drama. Then they pointed to another upcoming election of another country that they thought would result in a complicated outcome. Then I asked them about our country. After they gave their points I started to talk.

“I remember when I was in school hearing that a democratic government was supposed to be a government of the people by the people.” I guess it was an ideal but in those days we had politicians who truly had the people’s interest at heart but nowadays I’m not so sure.

That comment required an explanation. I pointed to the bickering and the obvious opposition just because you were the opposition. The desire of some politician to be the author of a brilliant legacy when in truth if ideas were pooled it would benefit the country more. But what I hated most was the promotion of division in the country just to gain votes. The rabid desire to undo what the person before you did just because they did it even though it was a benefit to the country. That was what I despised.

The kids listened and discussed. I then pointed to one incident that was now in court so, as far as I was concerned, one individual could push themselves into the limelight and grandstand. After all ‘silly seasons’ was on the way and one had to position one’s self as a contender in the upcoming election.

A lot of the actions of the politicians were giving me the impression that what they were doing was only for their benefit and not public. This is what I saw rather than them trying to make sure the country was at its best. That and a lot of the talk rather than action to help things go better. I wanted nothing to do with their lies, so I was trying to fulfill my own personal mandate. I’m trying to be a better me with every passing day and that is where my concentration is and where I’m planning on keeping it.

Talk and More Talk

 

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We kept talking until everything was settled.

 

After my heated encounter at the beach with Mr. Divine, I was…I’m not sure what I was but I was something. After my brainwashing, lol, I found myself sitting on the beach in Mr. Divine’s arms. There we talked and talked and kept talking about why I would allow my insecurities to creep in and talk over my mind.

I found it hard to explain but he wouldn’t let up, determined to understand what fueled my lack of trust. That was when I told him that Walter had left me from a woman I worked with who pretended to be my friend and who used to trick me into doing her work so she could leave early and be with my husband. That I suspected my husband used to talk my things and give to this woman and I explained about the free spa treatment I had been given that Walter had just taken.

I didn’t even know I was crying until Mr. Divine wiped the tears from my cheeks. Now I had sand on my face and was started to get cold. Taking my hand he pulled me up and lead me into the water.

“What are you wearing under that shirt and pants?” he asked.

“Not much,” I replied. “My husband has a habit of buying me racy lingerie and I miss him so I have been wearing them.”

“You are supposed to wear then all the time not just when you miss me,” said Mr. Divine flashing me a mischievous smile. “Off with those clothes. You can wear my shirts.”

I looked around the beach as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled if off. After pulling me further into the water until it was over my shoulders, Mr. Divine kissed me and I fell into the pleasure of being with him. We would be fine because we would work on being fine.