All About Sex

All About Sex

It was past time I had a detailed sex talk with my Kylie.  Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

When we last spoke my oldest Kylie was about to go on her first date. To say I was more nervous than her was an understatement but I wanted to make sure I armed my little warrior before she went out. With that in mind, I had a serious talk her about sex. Not the slot A goes into slot B type conversation, but more of conversation about the feelings that go along with the desire to have sex. Some people may be thinking at sixteen, do you think you should be having a conversation like that with a child? Considering that girls are having sex younger and younger, I frankly think my conversation is past due.

I choose a day when Kylie and I were on the way to do some shopping. As we pulled up at the mall intending to go looking for an outfit for her to wear on her date I popped the question.

“Kylie what do you think about sex?”

“Mom?” she questioned. “What do you mean?”

“You understand the basics about sex?”

“I guess so,” she said with a shrug. “You hear stories at school but the truth is I rather get facts and understand more.”

I smiled. “Fact is always good. It was lack of knowledge that worked against me when I got involved with your father. One thing I can tell you is that your father is like a lot of men when it comes to sex. Selfish and only interested in their own pleasure. That is also the way how a lot of young men are as well.

We made our way inside the mall continuing our conversation.

“The thing is with sex and most women, not all, most, they associate or combine sex and love. They give or have sex with someone they think they love. With men, most, again not all, it’s about the pleasure. Their pleasure.”

She looked at me with a puzzled look. “Can’t women have pleasure from sex?”

I smiled at here. I loved how my child always got to the heart of the matter.

“The short answer is yes, but that yes goes along with so many different factors.”

Kylie gave me her ‘well keep talking’ look and as we shopping we kept the conversation going.

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A Million Emotions

Emotion

Just a fraction of what I’ve been feeling for the past few months.

Excited and insanely busy in a whirlwind of chaos. That is the best way to describe what my life has been like for the past few months. Things have finally settled and I’m looking forward to starting to post updates to my blog again.

A lot has happened since is haven’t been active online and I’ll be trying my best get you up to date about all the happenings. So, expect a new post in the coming week. I’m so tempted to just blurt out some of what happened but I’ve waited this long, so taking the time to tell you properly is the plan and I’m sticking to it.

So look for WordPress blog post and Facebook post in the coming weeks and I’ll get you back on track with what myself and my family have been up to.

Yes or No

YesOrNo

Mr. Divine made a few calls later on that night then came back to me regarding some information about the young man that had my Kylie smitten. It seems the young man was, in fact, an amazing boy, his father on the other hand, had the reputation of being a true bastard. This situation would have to be dealt with delicately.

If there was one thing I learned from being involved with Walter is that it is a dangerous thing to get into a family you are not totally comfortable with. My ex-husband had come from a secretive family that was always fighting with each other and as a result, he pulled me away from and isolated me from my family. If we allow Kylie to go out this guy, she would learn a lot about people and that all family structures and dynamics we’re not the same.

“What do you think?” Mr. Divide me as we sat on the couch.

“I want to protect my baby but if she is to go off to college I won’t be there to tell her yes or no when it comes to the boys that she meets. She tried to find out as much as she could about him which shows she is thinking rather than blind following or jumping into situations. She needs to keep growing up and discovering.”

Mr. Divine sighed and hugged me closer. “Yes, our baby is growing up, learning.”

“So yes to this date? I asked with a smile.

“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “Before that date, she has to go for a refresher self-defence course. In fact, I’m going to send a message now asking if she can be fit in for Wednesday.”

I laughed at his comment but I knew he was serious. It was better to be ready and aware that clueless and caught. Our young lady was taking another step in her development from there we’ll see what is next.

Movies that Matter – Hidden Figures

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The power of this movie is like the title says, hidden. The children had seen the trailer and they come to us determined to see this movie and discover more about this once little-known story. When we sat down in the cinema we were all eager to discover the story.

Watching the struggles these women, Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson played by Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monáe endured yet the determination they possessed was inspiring. They lived in a time when being a woman and one of colour was not exactly an easy thing to be. Despite that, these women learnt and discovered how to use their brains to be the author of ground breaking accomplishments that have been marked on history’s page to be acknowledged and remembered by all.

Hidden Figures

When we got out of that movie the quiet smile on my Kylie’s face was noted by all of us. The movie had does its part in continuing to inspire her to be more than just a drone in society but to strive to accomplish something noteworthy and significant. Also a line she noted that she is determined to take to heart was what Vaughan told Jackson when the latter kept complaining about the fact she could not be an engineer, “quit talking and do something about it”. That is now her attitude, making sure that she shows action rather just talking about it.

She Is Growing Up

SheIsGrowingUp

After the kids went to bed Mr. Divine and I had a long talk about Kylie’s request to go on a date. She was getting to that age and we needed to allow her to start to understand boys and the way they behaved.

“I want to hide her forever,” whispered Mr. Divine as we moved outside to enjoy the quiet night while we talked, ignoring the that TV played in the background. I climbed between his legs and settled against his chest as his arms cuddled me against him.

“I know,” I replied but she needs to know and understand and experience. The fact she talks to us is important and I would like to keep it that way.”

“Yes,” he said with a sigh.” There is so much insane stuff going on daily it makes you frightened to let your children out the door.”

“The thing is by not letting them out we will do them a huge disservice. There will come one day when we are not there to do everything for them and to protect them.”

“My wife, the brilliant one,” whispered Mr. Divine against my neck.

“Do you your undercover investigation thing. I know that will be the only way you will be completely comfortable,” I murmured.

Mr. Divine’s laughter vibrated against my cheek. “You know me much too well.”

PoliTricks

KidsSayItRight

If you have kids like mine you know that a brush off or a half answer will not work when it comes to wanting answers to a question and it didn’t work when I tried to distract them from the politics topic. An explanation was insisted upon…no, make that demanded. So they roped in Mr. Divine and we ended up having a huge discussion.

I asked them what they had heard or taken note of from the last elections they knew about? They commented about the last election of one international country that seemed to come off like a bad Tv drama. Then they pointed to another upcoming election of another country that they thought would result in a complicated outcome. Then I asked them about our country. After they gave their points I started to talk.

“I remember when I was in school hearing that a democratic government was supposed to be a government of the people by the people.” I guess it was an ideal but in those days we had politicians who truly had the people’s interest at heart but nowadays I’m not so sure.

That comment required an explanation. I pointed to the bickering and the obvious opposition just because you were the opposition. The desire of some politician to be the author of a brilliant legacy when in truth if ideas were pooled it would benefit the country more. But what I hated most was the promotion of division in the country just to gain votes. The rabid desire to undo what the person before you did just because they did it even though it was a benefit to the country. That was what I despised.

The kids listened and discussed. I then pointed to one incident that was now in court so, as far as I was concerned, one individual could push themselves into the limelight and grandstand. After all ‘silly seasons’ was on the way and one had to position one’s self as a contender in the upcoming election.

A lot of the actions of the politicians were giving me the impression that what they were doing was only for their benefit and not public. This is what I saw rather than them trying to make sure the country was at its best. That and a lot of the talk rather than action to help things go better. I wanted nothing to do with their lies, so I was trying to fulfill my own personal mandate. I’m trying to be a better me with every passing day and that is where my concentration is and where I’m planning on keeping it.

Kids Say it Right

KidsSayItRightI can’t be sure, but I have a strong suspicion that ‘silly season’ is in the air and is soon about to take over. I’m sure you are wondering what ‘silly season’ in, well let me explain. When an election is called and the supporters of the various parties go from acting half stupid to full idiot then the season is in full effect.

Right now an election has not been called, but several politicians have been making sure they have been seen out and about in the community, plying their trade so to speak. Why do I refer to what they do is a trade? It’s simple. Where were any of them three and a half years ago? Like water in the Sahara difficult,  near impossible to be found no matter now had you tried. So what now? That’s a good question.

With the start of canvasing, that is people coming around knocking on your door begging for votes for their party, the kids have started to ask questions. They noted that most of the people’s political decisions were based on emotions rather than facts or logic. When my son said that I burst out in an uproarious laugh. How as it that a child under the age of eleven has it spot on but adults didn’t get it. I don’t know but somehow they did.

Settling Into Place

SettlingIntoPlace

Free and ready for whatever comes next.

From our conversation on the beach, Mr. Divine and I have been doing a lot better. That talk seemed to have opened a floodgate of conversation to make sure that we are staying on track as a couple. We sit down and just try to talk about everything as much as possible and make sure we were on the right page or just the same page about the things that might be a complication.

With Kylie enjoyed her new school and both of them studying for upcoming exams, things were settling back into a quiet state in our home. A while back Kylie had told me was interested in taking several of her exams early so she had started to do extra lessons in preparation for those exams. That had been going well and it was a major help towards her applications into university.

The children’s sporting activities have brought back up the question of the possibility of them having the opportunity to move to another country so they can further their education and ranking in the sport. We all had a long talk and the plan is to wait for Kylie’s results and see if there is any early interest from the universities that she wants to go to. Her swim coach has also been looking into scholarships at her choice universities and several other schools that would teach the courses that interest her. We would know the results in a few months and from there we would revisit the idea of moving as a family or if we would let Kylie go off on her own and have an adventure. Time would tell.

Movies That Matter – Mary Poppins

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The kids and I were relaxing in front of the TV one day with no clue what to watch so we started to go through our old DVDs. That is when we spotted Mary Poppins and we jumped eagerly at the chance to watch it again.

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An older movie done by Walt Disney in 1964, this musical stars Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins, Dick Van Dyke as Bert and Karen Dotrice and Matthew Garber as Jane and Michael Banks. According to the write-up on IMDb.com, this movie is a

In turn of the century London, a magical nanny employs music and adventure to help two neglected children become closer to their father.”

Have a peek at the trailer

In the midst of the singing and the dancing is an understory of the neglect that children of these times faced. They were often passed on to be taken care of by nannies or maids, evident is the outright dismissal of their opinions and feeling. Sadly we also see the belief that money or things will make everything perfect but as the show progresses it becomes evident that it does not.

When the movie is finished, the children and I had a chat about what we watched. In the middle of the catchy songs and acrobatic dancing, the key thing they noted was that the movie was that the movie pushed the idea of happiness and the joy of the simple things of life. We also talked fact that childhood is so fleeting and that the complications of daily life often distract parents for just taking the time to just be with their children. The movie made that painfully evident. In the end, we renewed our vow to be a strong, close family and always remember to find time to be together.

Later on, we had a look online and saw that “Mary Poppins Returns” seems to be in the cards for 2018. We can hardly wait to see the results. So for a laugh and good old fashion comedy perfect for the whole family look for Mary Poppins.

Married Life

MarriedLife

Sometimes you get in your own way.

One thing I know about marriage is that it isn’t easy to move your way forward, both the spouse and I have to be on the same page as well as reading the same line. That being said, Mr. Divine and I had our first disagreement of sorts. The fact that my husband traveled so often for work like a worm that was festering in the back of my mind. When he was away he was always in contact with both myself and the children, but its the fact he is not here that gets to me.  Add to that, my mind drifts to the fact I was clueless about what my Ex had been doing all those years and the insane scenarios start to take over my mind.

 

I was so in a grip of confusion that when Mr. Divine called, I made up so many stupid excuses not to talk to him. For most of his trip, I avoided his calls and stewed. I had let the past and all the things that my Ex had been doing and I didn’t know about and came up with the possibility that Mr. Divine may be doing that same thing to me. All the while I was in my head, the kids had spoken to Mr. Divine and he had cut his trip short. I was beyond shocked when he showed up and called me out of work.