Throwdown

Throwdown

Direct hit. 

The principal started to splutter and the teacher looked shocked.

 

“The boy was just playing,” said Mr. X.

“Yes. I was just playing chimed in the boy,” suddenly realizing that this was getting bigger than a simple trip to the office.

“No young man,” said Mr. Divine. “Touching or hitting a person without their consent is assault. Forcibly touching a girl or woman on parts of her body that are considered privet, that is breasts, bottom or vaginal area is considered sexual assault. There is no just playing when you force a girl in a corner and touch her while she is screaming no. It is wrong. Your teacher should know that, you should know and understand that. You need to call your parents because you are in big trouble and you have to learn that actions have consequences.”

“This a big lot of noise about nothing,” said Mr. X.

“I hope you are willing to tell that to a judge because I think I’ll be taking you to court for your lack of action with regards to this situation.

Mr. Divine took out his other phone and called his lawyer. His words froze the man.

“Those papers I told you about. You can file them. He has no remorse so why should I?”

“Why are you behaving like this?” Mr. X questions. “These are  just kids.”

“Do you understand that boys become men? Do you understand that boys who think they can touch girls wherever and whenever and don’t understand that ‘No’ really means ‘NO’ often go on to assault and rape women? Do you understand that you are a teacher and the person these children look up to and respect? Do you understand that by saying nothing you are a danger to these children?”

“You are crazy man,” said Mr. X.

“Like I said, tell it to a judge.”

The young man was standing in the corner and the look on his face said the boy was frightened out of his mind. He should be. Not to mention this school needed to talk to the boys and make them understand no, means no.

“Young man, have you called your parents?” The boy shook his head no.

“They need to be called and they need to get here now. Not the end of their work day but right now.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the secretary stuck her head without waiting for a response to come in.

“There are two police officers out here. He wants to speak to you about an incident. He named that boy,” she said pointing to the boy now trying to make himself smaller in the corner. “That is why I came to get you.”

The boy slid down onto the floor his knees weak.

Lightning Can Strike Twice

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Two angry women in one room, it’s not pretty.

 

“What is this all about?” asking Mr. X, the teacher Kylie told us about. One look and I could see that this man didn’t think for one second what he told my daughter was wrong.

Mr. Divine focused on him and started to question in a calm, clear voice. “Did my daughter report an incident or incidents regarding harassed and assaulted by this young man to you?”

“Assault. I don’t know what you are talking about? He was probably just playing around with her and got a bit too rough.”

Mr. Divine just looking at the man with a question all over his face.

“Probably. So you don’t have a real clue what happen but you proceed to tell my daughter that it was nothing and the boy just liked her and she should probably stop ignoring him.”

“This is no big deal. The young man was just being a typical boy.”

I was livid and jumping out of my seat. “Are you out of your mind?”

“No darling. Please let me handle this.” I looked at Mr. Divine and saw the look he gave me was similar to the one he had just before he knocked my ex-husband unconscious and left him on the ground front yard.

With a laugh, I sat down. Again the principal started to fidget while he questioned the teacher. “Mr. X  you are not sure about the details of the incident but that is what you told the young lady?”

“These kids always playing around. Who can keep track.”

“None of us girls play around with him,” said Kylie. “He is always hitting us and trying to grab us. We tell him to stop but he never does. We make sure we keep the younger girls away from him. I came to you because you are his form teacher but you did nothing and made it seem like it was alright. That I should let him touch me whenever and where ever on my body he wants. I don’t like him. Why should I let him touch me?”

“He was playing around,” said Mr. X. “What is the big deal.”

“So when he pins a girl in a corner and tries to touch her while she is screaming no and he is laughing like it a joke that’s okay. No, that is one step from attempted rape.”

And folks there it was. My daughter had said it and there was no taking it back.

Before the Storm

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My anger was a building thunderstorm.

A frighteningly calm Mr. Divine went to school with me the next day. We entered the office and asked for a meeting with the head. The plan was to see the attitude and the reaction but Mr. Divine had no intention of letting this matter be swept under the rug. Our lawyer had already been called and out on notice about the situation. This incident couldn’t be allowed to happen again.

The secretary tried to insist that Kylie go to her class or she would be marked late or absent but Mr. Divine said no. Late was a small matter in his eyes compared to this situation. It took another forty-five minutes before the principle came, during which time the secretary tried to find out what was the issue. All she got was a whole lot of nothing.

The principal took one look at Mr. Divine’s unsmiling face and lead us into his office. My daughter sat down and told her story and I watched Mr. Divine watching the man’s face. Another thing  I also noted was that he had his phone in his hand, which was unusual for him. By the time my daughter was done telling the story I could see the principle starting to fidget.

“I will need to speak to the teacher and the student and see what they have to say,” he said.

“Go right ahead,” said Mr. Divine. “I canceled all my meeting for today and my wife took the day off. I will have this matter dealt with by the end of the day or the police and my lawyer will be expecting my call.”

The principle’s eyes went wide. He got up and went to the secretary that has been asking questions. Our guess is that he asked her to get the boy and the teacher who was at the center of the incident. About thirty minutes went by and the teacher and the boy came into the office. I looked at Mr. Divine and had to put my hand on his arm to calm his down. It was about to really begin.

Book Review – The Chocolate Cure

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I love chocolate and a good book, and I must admit I read this book because of the title, The Chocolate Cure (Love at the Chocolate Shop Book 4) by Roxanne Snopek. It caught my attention and I wanted to know what it was about. That being said, I’m glad I let the chocolate lead me to this story, it was an enjoyable read. The main character Maddie, like most of us, is beautifully flawed but trying her hardest to get things together. Her method of self-correction was through the use of a new years resolution. I think a lot of use have been there, and she is determined to stop what she perceives as a downward spiral of her life due to bad choices. The opinion she has of herself and where she is right now as a person is close to self-loathing about her perceived failure.

Despite that, life has different ideas for this character, just like it often does for us, and the things she thinks she must give up are now clamoring for her attention. Facing her fear and sticking to her principles despite the consequences is something this character does and I couldn’t help but cheer for a happy ending for her. Life is not always easy and we often make choices, then second guess these same choices again and again. I enjoyed discovering how Maddie worked her way through to get to point where she was happy with her life.

Have a read and see what you think of, The Chocolate Cure (Love at the Chocolate Shop Book 4) by Roxanne Snopek.

No You Didn’t

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Like most mothers, I’m very protective of my children but I’ve also learnt how to let them go so they can be independent and learn how to become their own person. It’s not easy, but I’ve come to realize that the clinging and hovering often resulted in frustrated, angry and rebellious children. Observation allowed me to learn how to adjust accordingly over the past few years. That being said, let get to the real problem.

My daughter Kylie came home and I noted that she was more distant and quieter than usual. I looked at her, trying to figure out the type of quite I was dealing with. Was it a ‘that topic in class was so difficult’ or ‘a why is that person giving me a difficult time’ quiet. For some reason I wasn’t getting the clues I was used to with this situation and it was worrying me.

Mr. Divine was back from his trip and was taking us out to dinner. At dinner, he nudged me when he noticed how quiet she was. The kids were always eager to find out about his trips but it was like Kylie wasn’t even there. We decided to take a long walk along the boardwalk after dinner and as Shane wondered off to get pictures of the sunset we asked her what was the matter.

As she explained the situation I could see the vain in Mr. Divine’s head starting to rise up and throb. With my Kylie’s every word, he was getting angrier. “We’ll be going to the school tomorrow because nothing about what you just told us is right.”

“But the teacher said that is just the way boys behave.”

“No, it’s not. Decent boys don’t do that. Decent teachers don’t allow them to get away with it if you complain about it. Then even worst, try to make it your fault.

While Mr. Divine was angry I was livid. The whole situation reminded me of the entitled attitude my ex Walter often exhibited. I wasn’t standing for it. It would seem that a boy at school had started teasing Kylie, calling her rude names and being generally annoying. She chose to ignore him and in reaction, he choose to escalate the situation by pushing, pinching and basically trying to grope my daughter whenever he saw her. Frustrated she went to the teacher to try to address the situation but it was dismissed with the statement “boys will be boys” and that the boy wanted her to be his girlfriend….and it was probably her fault for ignoring him.

Oh hell no.

Movies that Matter – The 13th Warrior

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This is a movie I like to watch but so far I have not subjected my children to it. My main reason for holding off showing it to them is the huge amount of very realistic blood and gore portrayed. Despite that, I like the movie.

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This 1999 film stars Antonio Banderas, Vladimir Kulich and Omar Sharif and it is about a young man, played by Banderas, who falls for the wrong woman and this results in him being sent far away to serve as an ambassador as punishment. His life is now always in danger and as things become more complicated he stops at a Viking village and ends up being chosen to go on a quest with the new Viking ruler to help stop a mysterious threat in a faraway Viking territory.

The key thing I noted was that in the movie we have a man thrown into a situation where he doesn’t understand the language or the culture but he must battle with twelve other men to win a cause that is not his own. What struck me about this movie is the way the main character Antonio Banderas starts to learn and understand the language and culture of these people he has been placed with and in turn, they started to learn from him. The characters each started out with huge differences between then, but in the end, by living and working together their united knowledge and efforts prevailed against the terror that resulted in their quest.

Unity despite obvious differences. That is what I take from this movie and hold on to every time I watch it and when my kids are older we will watch it and have a debate to see what they think .

15 Minutes

15Minutes

The timer set and ready to go.

15 Minutes. It may seem like no time at all for many people, but for me, it’s going to be the difference being accomplished my goals or not. How so? I plan to take that time daily for each of the tasks I want to accomplish in my life. To make this happen it is going to take not only a lot of planning but also dedication. Not to mention that other thing I know I have to achieve.

I plan to give myself up to the sixth-month mark this year, but I intend to accomplish these tasks I have in mind. Each one, though small, will be like a shot in the machine of my life. It’s time to make some changes to and improve my machine. 15 minutes can make a huge difference and I plan to make it count.

Taking Care of My Tree

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I’m making the changes needed to keep the tree, that is my life, growing and flourishing.

The task I have set myself to regain my motivation and to re-establish my path is going well. Well when I said regain, I must say I’ve not lost it all. It’s like I said before, some parts of the picture have become fuzzy and I need to get rid of that blind spot.

My rediscovery is going amazing and the lessons I’m finding seem to be more relevant than before. The two years before were an eye opener for me, but by not keeping constantly updated on key motivational tips, I lost my way….a little. It’s not that things aren’t going well because that are but even then you can slip into bad habits.

My bad habit is starting a task that is aimed at making a part of my life better but as time goes on, I fall by the wayside. It is not intentioned, it just sort of happens. I set a time to do a task but when the time comes I’m distracted doing something else and the dreaded happens, I forget. The routine is broken and sadly that break leads to that thing you wanted to accomplish drifting into the land of the forgotten.

I’ve made up my mind to stop these little goals from being lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. When I stopped and considered how may things I have allowed to fall into

forgetfulness, it saddens me. Little things like taking my vitamins daily, reading an article daily to discover something new. Or the big ones like practicing that language I really want to learn daily or exercising or….there are so many. All I know is that that it’s go to stop so I’m going to do something about.

Christmas Past

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Some of the Christmas decorations that were to be seen as we drove out and about.

 

This is the last of my catch-up post and from now on things will be about what is going on right now, as well as short and sweet.

When Christmas came last year, things were a buzz of excitement in my house. I’m used to the kids being excited for this time of year, but this time it was like they were almost jumping out of their skin for the season to come. They were so eager they started to get the house ready even before I asked. In fact, they were asking me, and by the 3rd of December they had the house decorated on the outside and were urging me to get a live Christmas tree so they could decorate it. I got it and by the next weekend we had the tree up.

Mr. Divine has been traveling for the past three weeks and he came home the same time as the tree was going up. He dropped everything and helped us and we ended up having an amazing time putting that tree together. When we were done, we got out a tub of ice cream and enjoyed the lights as they flickered against the walls. It was the perfect way to end our night.

With Mr. Divine here, several events were added to our Christmas social calendar. It was interesting, the huge difference in the types of social experiences my children and I now encountered because of being his wife. I have done more socializing with him in the last year than I did in my pass marriage of just over eighteen years. It was an uplifting experience. We also went to my mother’s house and had the most amazing time. When she had first met Mr. Divine, she took him aside and had a long talk. It seems she decided to give him a top-up on the previous talk for Christmas. From whatever he said to her she was content and came back to us with a huge smile on her face.

We had a wild family-filled and social Christmas last year and from what I understand they have already started planning what we are going to do for Easter this year. I can hardly wait.  To me, this is what life is supposed to be about, family, love and happiness.

Revisit the Motivation

Title:-

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A thought that came to me that I’m going to keep in mind.

 

For years I’ve been on the same path and in the same place, like an insect stuck in tree sap. Caught and going nowhere fast. After my former husband Walter left me, I had a serious look at my life and realized what a disservice I had been doing to myself. That is what led to several motivational speakers and leaders of industry who’s advice was invaluable in the process of helping me to restart my life and equipping me with what I needed to find the right path and start moving towards it.

What I’ve also realized more than two years after that groundbreaking epiphany, is that I needed to revisit the video lectures and blog posts that helped me to find myself to make sure that I keep the fire for continual advancement burning in my life. Over time I have realized that it is very easy to fall back into the bad habits of the past that were so easy, comfortable and familiar.

Familiar but also deadly to my progress, and this isn’t something that I want in my life again. So over the next few weeks, I’ll be revisiting many of the motivational videos and blog posts that helped me so much. Then from there, I’ll be doubling down, so to speak, and finding some new videos and posts to add to my list to strengthen me for my fight forward.

I’ve come to understand that motivation is like the plaster on a building and it helps to protect my ideas and plans for the future. Daily my ideas and plans are bombarded by doubts, fears and negativity, eating away at the protection. All I can say is that it’s time to re-plaster and to make sure I remember that it’s easier to maintain than to rebuild.