Cover Reveal

So I finally have it. The cover for my story Diary of a Recovering Idiot. I have made changes to the story and I will be re-publishing it from the beginning on Wattpad.

Here it is.

The cover was done by the amazing Clairey Lovell at C & K Creations. When I saw this cover, it embodied all my feelings in one picture. If you don’t know my story, follow me at the links below for continued updates about my life and links to my story that is being re-posted.

Twitter – https://twitter.com/DiryOfRecovriId

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/Diary-of-a-Recovering-Idiot-481568121942525/

Wattpad – https://www.wattpad.com/story/9696601-diary-of-a-recovering-idiot

 

 

 

Dotted Line….. Finally?

When I went out the door things were settled.

When I went out the door things were settled.

I had a meeting this week, and I can say that there was so much tension in the room that I felt like my back was going to snap from just sitting there. While I listened to the lawyers battle back and forth, the looks that Walter was shooting my way could have burnt me into cinders. Somehow I wasn’t letting it show that I was bothered. I had on the bracelet that Mr. Divine had given me, and played with it like it was more important than everything that was going on around me. It really wasn’t, but I had no intention of letting Walter send me into a tailspin when I was so close to concluding the calamity that was my marriage.

My lawyer still had all of his aces in hand, and I knew when he started to place them on the table in his special way, that all hell was going to break loose. Walter had no clue of what the investigator and the auditor had turned up on him, and I knew when the information started to be revealed that he was going to hit the roof and nasty looks would be nothing compared to what he would start to throw at me. For now my lawyer was just playing, telling Walter’s what we wanted but not mentioning the fact that he had him by the short hairs. It was thrilling when you knew something that your opponent didn’t know and that was what Walter was. He was the biggest opponent I have ever had in my entire life.

Walter’s lawyer got up and started to parade around the room, stating that his client had the right to this and that, and my lawyer just sat there with a huge cat-that-has-the-hugest-bowl-of-cream, smile on his face. Then calmly my lawyer sat forward.

“So what is my client entitled to for more than fifteen years of infidelity? That has to be worth something?”….

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

Falling Into Place

Things were falling into place.

Things were falling into place.

Some people call it the stars coming into alignment, others divine intervention, some fate, but whatever it is called, things are going the way I need them to go. The auditor I insisted on hiring has struck gold, and to such an extent it is like he has been mining it non-stop. When I had my meeting with the auditor and the lawyer for all the information to be presented, the lawyer was so excited about what he was hearing it was like he was about to jump out of his chair. While the auditor spoke, the lawyer would lean forward like he wanted to jump in, but then he seemed to stop himself and just made notes of what he wanted to talk about. When the presentation was finished, the lawyer got up and stood at the window for several minutes.

When he finally turned back to the table, I could tell he was so excited he was almost jumping out of his skin.

“Lindsay I don’t know how you came up with the idea to get this guy on board for your divorce, but you really did the right thing. This information is like….this gives us all the cards for negotiation.”

“I knew it would. That is why I hired him. I knew the information I was seeing was just a fraction of what might actually be there, so I did what was needed.”

The lawyer sat down again and pulled the pad that he jotted the notes on closer…..

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

Time Long Gone

I wasn’t having any of that.

I wasn’t having any of that.

What does it take to get a divorce? I would really like to know what is taking mine so long, but I know it is mostly because of all the delays that Walter has been perpetrating. Blocking me from getting information at the bank, playing mind games and using stalling tactics aimed at getting me so frustrated I will simply curl into a ball and allow him anything and everything he wants. The happenings of the last few months have him in a tailspin, with opposition coming at him from so many sides he is unable to gain allies who will look past his actions and support him.

My boss has been relentless, insisting on having Walter charged for his actions in the office. It seems he and Mr. Divine have known each other from childhood, and they have ganged up on Walter and are coming at him from all sides. The children refuse to see him and no matter how many ‘but he is your father’ speeches I have made, they are not budging. I know he has not been acting like a father to them, and I may seem like I’m pushing them into a position where they can be mentally abused, but I have no intention of allowing my children into the company of this man unsupervised.

I have been to the lawyer and have started to push him about the divorce. There is no way I’m going to allow this situation to be dragged out for years and years. Walter may be the one that started it, but I planned to be the one to finish it. In the lawyer’s office I settled in and started to state my position and I could see his hesitation with regards to a lot of what I was outlining. I couldn’t state that I didn’t want Walter to see the children. He would use that as a way to delay the divorce but I could make it so that any visits had to be initiated by the children and if he demanded to see the kids it would have to be supervised due to the verbal abuse he had been subjecting them to over the last few months…..

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

Blame Game

Your actions are your responsibility Walter.

Your actions are your responsibility Walter.

Just as I predicted blog land, Walter’s attitude has resulted in a continued knock-on effect and at every turn he had been trying to repair the damage to his image. He is not getting very far, in truth he is making it worst. He has taken to blaming me for what people are saying, but no matter who asks me what is going on I’m not giving them any information to add or subtract from what they think. I refuse to get into the mud slinging, no matter how much pleasure it would give me to ‘out the man’ for the horrible way he had treated me most of our marriage.

The things he has been saying have made their way into my work place and that is no surprise to me, considering he is knocking boots with a woman who works at the same company as me. Poor blind child, that is all I can call her, letting herself be used to do Walter’s dirty work. I guess she must learn, just like me, I had to. Rather than making me look bad for her beloved Walter, she has opened a can of vicious Africanized killer bees that have descended on her head; intent on destruction. The swarm, headed by our boss, who can do and will do, all the things needed to make her life unpleasant. It seems like he wasn’t kidding about going after Walter for the misinformation he had passed to him about me. When I discovered what he put into play, I felt frightened for Walter but that is a story for another time.

As for Miss I-like-to-run-my-mouth-like-a-high-speed-wind-turbine, she found herself in a meeting with the boss and HR discussing her need to willfully pull down the morale of her work colleagues through the use of vicious rumors. Her actions lead to a memo being sent to the staff and a warning of disciplinary action against anyone who perpetrated such actions in the future. From the distribution of that memo you could have heard a feather drop in the office. Everyone knew the reason for the memo and no one wanted to be linked with the person responsible……

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

Bully Beware

I pulled her into my arms and it was like trying to hug a piece of board.

I pulled her into my arms and it was like trying to hug a piece of board.

Yes blog land, Walter is trying to be at it again, but this time it’s not only him. There is also a woman I secretly call, ‘the workplace bully’. Over the last few weeks, they both have been on me like white on rice, and it has started to really rub me the wrong way. Like I said before, Walter used to make it his mission to antagonize everyone around us. Thus pushing them away and isolating me. Now I have grown a backbone, his thing is to nitpick at the kids over everything they do. Since the confrontation on the beach, his attitude with the children has become much harsher and the kids in turn have become combative with him. This is a problem because their attitude has started to transfer into other situations with other people. More than once, I’ve had to deal with problems because of the way they are now behaving, with teachers saying both the children are giving them backchat.

To deal with this I had a sit down with both children and give them a serious talking too. Both said, they were constantly fighting to defend themselves against their father and as such they seemed to be fighting with everyone. That day the children said they didn’t like being around their father anymore, and they wanted me to arrange a different way for them to get to their different activities. They didn’t want him to take them an longer. My daughter was adamant about not being around her father, saying she didn’t like the type of person he was forcing her to become. When you have a teenager making a statement like that, you better sit up right quick and take some notice.

I was at a lost about what to do. The children needed to know how and when to speak up for themselves, but they also needed to know how and when to hold their tongues. I wasn’t really a fan of airing my business in public but this problem was becoming so touchy I wanted to have a mediator deal with it. It so happened that my daughter’s principal called saying she wanted to discuss her sudden change in attitude and combative nature with adults. I told the principal I recommended a sit down talk with both of my kids, their father, as well as the guidance councillor and my son’s principal. I could tell she didn’t expect that response, but jumped at it to get the problem solved…..

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

Sex Talk

It was up close and personal dancing, with me being cuddled in Mr. Divine’s arms.

It was up close and personal dancing, with me being cuddled in Mr. Divine’s arms.

Today blog land, I’m going to talk about sex. Good sex, bad sex and will you just get the hell off me sex. I don’t usually talk about this kind of thing as I was raised with the point of view that what happened in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom and should never be talked about. The thing is, society is rapidly changing and I have come to realize that by not talking about sex I made myself stupid to the facts like I was about so many other topics. My experiences were limited because it took a lot to allow me to become intimate with someone so as a result I have had very few partners. Make that two, my first long time boyfriend and Walter.

Recently I was sitting in the corner of the lunchroom and could hear a conversation going on nearby. It was between two of the many single women in the office and one was telling the other about a guy she was ‘talking too’. The shock froze me in my spot when I started to understand what they were talking about. Was it really possible that persons talked so freely about their sex lives? This had to be a one-off kind of thing that I happened to be hearing. That was when I head the line of all lines.

“And would you believe after all that big talk the idiot couldn’t even make me come. I was so vex. All he do is dirty up my….” That folk was when my brain exploded. She said it, right there in the lunchroom with no care of who could hear…..

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

When You Least Expect It

We indulged ourselves in the mysteries of the deep blue.

We indulged ourselves in the mysteries of the deep blue.

As you live your life, many things come your way and often you are at a total lost of how to deal with them. Depending on how things have been going so far, you react either negatively or positively. So far things have been going slowly but surely for me and I have been trying to take every new thing that comes my way as a lesson. The business I have pushed myself to start is a whole new level of discovery and with every new trek I know I’m pushing myself to a better place. After each one, the kids and I have a recap and try to find a way to improve. Their dedication is a splendid thing to see and I’m truly proud of them.

So far I have been running the treks on Saturdays and Sundays to groups of ten to fifteen and they have been doing well. Interestingly enough, I have had requests to do treks during the week and this has increased my need to find someone who can handle the treks at the times I am unavailable. The people who have been answering my job advertisement so far have been bad to put it mildly, and I was starting to become worried about the drought in personnel.

Worry was turning to panic when finally I got an application from a young woman who wanted something that got her away from being cooped up in an office and fit in with her afternoon classes. During the interview I knew almost immediately that this young woman was who I needed for the job because with every word she expressed a joy of hiking as well as a desire to learn that I haven’t seen so far from any of the other applicants. I had been looking for a young person with a willingness to expand their horizons for the position and finally I had found them……

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

Taking Risk

I took them on one of the treks with a medium degree of difficulty.

I took them on one of the treks with a medium degree of difficulty.

Sometimes when you look at the position you are in and the paths you can take, it is often a question of whether to take the road that will be easy and give you a few rewards, or resort to the road that you know will be impeded at almost every step to acquire the ultimate jackpot. The thing I have always heard said is that if you really want something you have to go even further than the extra mile to get it. Then there is that other one they are always saying, that nothing worthwhile comes easy. All I know is that right now it is about me digging deep and finding the courage to step so far out of my comfort zone that it is like I’m out to sea and could drown at any second.

What has me so unsettled? The business idea I have been playing with is back again, buzzing in my head. Even though I tried to stay away from it, I find myself with book in hand, going though the information I have so carefully documented. What was I to do with it all? Mr. Divine caught me looking thorough the book one day and with a smile he shook his head. “You can do it.” I looked at him with speculation all over my face, because in truth that was the one thing I was most frighten to envision, everything in the book becoming a reality and me having to deal with it.

“It can be done on a small scale till you feel more comfortable and decide if it is worthwhile and you want to expand.” Was it really possible? He went on to explain that I could put an advertisement on the Internet offering tours to visitors who wished to see the country during a more authentic and up close experience. He went about explaining advertising, giving the potential trekkers an idea of what the tours would be like as well as most importantly finding someone to employ as a tour guide if I was unable to lead the tours. Another thing was first aid in the event that someone became injured. Between the two of us we covered every possible angle of what was done and what needed to be finished to get this project done. It got to a point it looked like it would be possible, but I knew I had several more things I needed to look over and plan……

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.

Wanting More

My idea was to combine my loves and to offer eco-treks to tourists that visited the island.

My idea was to combine my loves and to offer eco-treks to tourists that visited the island.

At some point in your life you look at where you have reached and start to question if you are happy or you want more. More doesn’t necessarily have to mean bigger house or car, it could simply be the desire to challenge one’s self to see what you are made of. My new position at work has its challenges, as well as the course I have been doing but I want more. There is also my small business I have been indulging in and I wonder if I should try to take things to a new level.

As a result I have been thinking, looking at and considering my position and were I wish to be, but most of all the path I’m going to set myself along to get there. Right now I’m fresh out of ideas but you can bet I’m trying to come up with something. Within my job there is no direct path to where I want to go but I could look and see if there are any positions that would allow me to move upwards and apply. This may or may not work but it was an option I could play with and I was going to.

With this bug in my head, I started to look on the Internet to see what I could do but mostly for ideas of what direction to take. To tell the truth sometimes the Internet can be a hamper because with the amount of information coming at you, you often are left more confused about what to really do. I have learnt to be very specific with my searches if I don’t want to waste my time online. By doing that I have managed to narrow down things to a few different ideas, but truly I was not positive……

Read the full story of “Diary of a Recovering Idiot”. Coming Soon to Amazon.