Yes…Maybe

 

Yes...Maybe

I couldn’t just tell Mr. Divine Yes.

I’m yet to give Mr. Divine the all important answer to his question. “Lindsay, will you marry me?” Since he has asked me I think I have experienced every emotion possible while I tried to decide what my answer will be. It’s not that he isn’t an amazing man, but for months after this epic question, I have been fighting my old friend fear when it comes to making my decision.

My fear had sent me into a spiral of asking ‘what if’ and you can believe me when I say it’s the worst place to be. I’m fighting my way out of that rut because the ‘he-may-be-like-Walter’ idea that has infiltrated my mind is the path to distraction. That is why I took a much-needed break, to just stop and think. At this point in time, I need to have a firm grip on the reality and truth that I know. That is, Mr. Divine is a good and kind man to my children and me.

So what do I do…tell this amazing man? He has been unfailingly patient with me. There for me when I needed to talk, vent, to be held and comforted. The question is do I love Mr. Divine or am I just clinging to the way he makes me feel. I took a break to just relax and think but still I couldn’t just tell Mr. Divine yes. That was when I knew we needed to talk. It was the only way I could be comfortable with the decision I finally made.  Tell Mr. Divine my fears, feelings and from there we would figure it all out…together. That was the only way forward and forward was where I needed to go.

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